its been exactly a week since my failed attempt now and since then I have been wondering why it failed why am I still here and last but not least what sort of sick twisted joke is this that I have to keep going on I feel like such a hypocrite right now as I sit here typing this having tried to help people and tell them that they should not try it when all I really want is to end on my terms I have nothing left I wish to fight for I lost my soul mate I hate my job I will never get out of debt and I have a terminal disease which means I will die young in a lot of pain and being a burden to a care worker I don't want that I never want to be anyone's burden again I was as a child.