Ive been considering suicide for sometime now, In June i lost my girlfriend of four years, right after loosing her dad, who was basically my dad. Tonight i held my uncles hand as he passed away from cancer, My uncle was the closest thing i had to a family member. Now this could just be a really hard time, but then i think about it, and in November, 2006, I held my best friend as she overdosed on heroine, and before that, another great friend of mine committed suicide. And two more before that. It seems everyone i get close too, i loose. Which, since June, i haven't gotten close to anyone, I don't like talking to people anymore, When i go out, chances are I'm by myself, or with my one, and really only good friend, who has been there for me through everything. But i've turned cold, and have completely lost the will to live, each night if i manage to catch some sleep, i pray i don't wake up, walking down the street i think, just step onto the road, and it all ends. But i cant bring myself to do it, i don't know why, But every time i think about stepping onto that street, or other things, i always tell myself tomorrow, tomorrow it will happen. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, and I'm very quickly growing tired. and sick of it, of the world. Everything in it, i cant even enjoy a movie anymore without these god damn thoughts running through my head. I just don't know what to do, where to go, anymore. I started drinking very heavily, smoking like a train. and where to go from here. I have no idea.