I am a new member and I thought I would find some type of solice in this place till I see a doctor on June 8th. I have thoughts of suicide but dont actually want to kill myself I have been down this road before and know it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I have had a lot of thoughts of cutting myself just to relieve the emotional pain so i can focus on physical pain which I am all to familiar with having fibromyalgia. These feelings are amplified when my husband leaves and I am here alone with kids asleep etc. I usually cry have a panic attack and try doing other things to rid myself of these thoughts. I know one night its going to be to much and I will probably do it I just want to stop myself so I dont have scars I dont want to be one of those teenagers that cuts themselves... I am far from a teenager I am 28 years old unemployed and have a lot of circumstances behind my feelings. I was on prozac but it stopped working and was making my suicidal feelings worse so I got off of it and am waiting to see mental health next month. Although I wish I could go now the county here where I live does not work that way. I just want this pain to stop i want to be able to concentrate and live life again as I did before I hate that depression has consumed my life and I depend on a damn pill to be happy... just need some support something to get me through and most of all I need local friends I have zero of those that are really there for me or that I can see etc.