Thread no one will read so whatever

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lady Byron, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    so i feel really alone. i don't know what to do. i might as well not even write this but i really really just want someone to listen. i can't sleep and it's really taking a massive effect on my body. i can't eat either, i can't do the things i used to love doing. all i do is obsess over everything that could've been, shouldn've been and isn't. i feel like i'm no one, i'm nothing, i just am. i'm here and i watch everyone else but no one notices me, no one notices how much pain i'm in and it hurts me even worse. i can't get angry at anyone but myself because it's all my fault. i'm such a loser and so pathetic. i can't even make myself happy let alone my friends and family. i blame everyone else for the things that are wrong with me and i'm so selfish. i shake all the time because i'm so angry and then i cry because i'm so angry and then i get even angrier because i'm crying and i don't want anyone to think that i'm weak and can't take anything. if there really is a god out there, why have you forsaken me? what did i do? i'm so sorry if i did something bad. i really am. just why did you leave me all alone?
     
  2. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Sometimes when I look at my own life I realise that there's nothing wrong with being angry, with being weak, with being a loser or being sad, whether I'm pathetic, selfish or boring or whatever, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is whether I have the potential to grow and to change, and I think all humans have that potential under certain conditions.
     
  3. alittleoverdose

    alittleoverdose New Member

    i'm in the same place right now. i wish i could offer advice or help, but i can give you nothing. except maybe the comfort of knowing you aren't the only one who has to live like this. we exist, if by ourselves, we exist...
     
  4. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    The Pain I know so well, Illness and depression took away much from me so now I always think of what could of been...and every attempt to get something halfway normal or res-noble fails. Its even worse if you are in a place where all the women are married or to young for you, or 'engaged.' At least this internet helps pass the day.
     
  5. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You can't dwell on what could have or should have been, because the fact is, it isn't. Instead focus on what you are going to make it be in the future. You asked about God forsaking you. I think we don't always get the answers we are hoping for. I am sorry you don't feel that anyone hears you. Well, we are listening. I hope things change for you. There are some things you have a choice in changing and some you don't. Work toward changing those you can. Please stay safe and take care. :hug:
     
  6. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Im listening hun many of us are, why not try and write a few more things down i find it sometimes helps to unravel things and then look at on thing at a time and come talk with us
    take care
    hugs
     
  7. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    the thing is that i put myself out there everytime i come to SF. i just feel so super alone. i talked to my mom last night and so things are a little better :smile:, but i still feel kind of depressed.
     
  8. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    That must really suck. I know the feeling because every guy I like at school is either taken or just not interested. The internet really does help pass the day doesn't it :laugh:? So does music.