so i feel really alone. i don't know what to do. i might as well not even write this but i really really just want someone to listen. i can't sleep and it's really taking a massive effect on my body. i can't eat either, i can't do the things i used to love doing. all i do is obsess over everything that could've been, shouldn've been and isn't. i feel like i'm no one, i'm nothing, i just am. i'm here and i watch everyone else but no one notices me, no one notices how much pain i'm in and it hurts me even worse. i can't get angry at anyone but myself because it's all my fault. i'm such a loser and so pathetic. i can't even make myself happy let alone my friends and family. i blame everyone else for the things that are wrong with me and i'm so selfish. i shake all the time because i'm so angry and then i cry because i'm so angry and then i get even angrier because i'm crying and i don't want anyone to think that i'm weak and can't take anything. if there really is a god out there, why have you forsaken me? what did i do? i'm so sorry if i did something bad. i really am. just why did you leave me all alone?