Today I cut myself for the first time in three years. I used to cut several times a day on binges for days. I started when I was 11. I cut for 8 years straight. I have so many scars that after all these years still are very visible. They embarrass me and make me look weak. I have had a tough few months and thought about it a bit more than I usually do these days. Today I just snapped and did it. I almost don't regret it. It felt amazing and I am ashamed of that. It just feels like my little secret again. My one little thing I have control over. I guess I am worried but maybe it's odd that I'm not at all considering how hard I've worked for years over this. I just became calm and still feel calm about it all. Is this odd?