yeah... three years ago i was raped by my best friend. i have only just admitted to this in therapy, but now i am having flashbacks all the time and i cannot deal with it. i can feel it, taste it, smell it... i hate this. my partner took away my medication and all the sharps so i am left with nothing to take it away apart from bingeing and purging. yeah, i am bulimic too. a few days ago i made a plan to commit suicide after my therapy session on wednesday. i don't want to die, i don't think. i just want this to stop. i'm so confused and scared. i can't tell my partner how i am feeling because it will upset him a lot. he would be better off with me out of his life anyway, i don't work and am claiming dla, but he pays the rent, the utility bills and it is embarrasing. everything about my life is fucked. i don't know what to do.