Throwing in the towel

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Badmantra, Dec 3, 2014.

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  1. Badmantra

    Badmantra Member

    I've had a life full of emotional pain for years now. I'm never happy anymore and it feels like everything is stacked against me all the damn time. Every time I try to turn things around and make a better life for myself, it ends up failing because of some bullshit. I often ask myself "How does one have an enjoyable life if you're constantly fighting an uphill battle?".
    So I've decided that I can't take this shit anymore. <mod edit- guidelines> I guess I'm telling you all this because I at least want some people to know what happened to me, as I have no friends myself.
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter


    Life is gonna be like that at times. All you can do is pick yourself back up and try again. Everyone is fighting a uphill battle. No matter what I am doing, BS is always happening to me it's fact of life. I'm knee deep in BS right now and all I am dreaming of is winning the lottery to keep myself going. Maybe think of something positive for the time being?

    What made me feel better was seeing other people go through worse than me and still have postive attitude to keep going, if they could survive worst things humanity can go through I should be able to do it too.
  3. Badmantra

    Badmantra Member

    Those other people are clearly stronger than me then. And every time I hope that something good will happen, it never does. I understand that life throws challenges at you from time to time, but at some point it just gets ridiculous.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    You never know how strong you are or are capable of being until you are faced with a certain situation and this being a life or death one, I'd say you are pretty strong. Don't do anything to harm yourself and it honestly brought at tear to my eye when I read ''cos I wanted someone to know what happened to me''.

    Don't give up on your life so easily, don't let whatever it is you are fighting bet the better of you. Fight back. You have come at least this far, why not stay and keep fighting the fight. I found a great quote today..I'm gonna see if I can find it, OK got it

    Wish you all the best and stay safe and be kind to yourself.
  5. Badmantra

    Badmantra Member

    Well I've decided that I'm going to go through with it. I put a lot of thought into this and decided that suicide is the only way things can get better for me. It's just rough getting up every morning and having to look at myself in the mirror. I honestly hate being myself and it's a struggle every day having to live with it. I know you all are probably going to say "well you need to learn to accept yourself". I'm sorry, but it's kind of hard to accept the fact that I'm good at nothing save for video games and the only good quality about me is that I try to be a good person.

    Whatever. There's no doubt this is going to hurt my family terribly, but I'm not much use to them as I am.
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Just curious what you have done to try to get rid of the depression so things are not so difficult? Would be too bad if feeling better and becoming stronger and able to deal with things and feeling happy is easily accomplished but have not tried the methods such as meds and therapy out there that work for about 80% of the people that try with little difficulty... If they do not work for you after a good effort then you are in a difficult place , but the other option is there and trying to get better first certainly makes sense. Also, you say have failed everything but have not really talked about what the actual problems are that are ,aking life hard- I for one would like to know what is going on with you to get to this point.

    Take Care and Be Safe

    - Ben
  7. Badmantra

    Badmantra Member

    It's too long and complicated to go into detail. And I have tried meds and therapy, none of which work.
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    It's impossible to have tried all Meds because there are so many combinations, not just one med alone, people are benefiting from combo of Meds nowadays if have tried several Meds alone

    I tried several Meds and thought I was treatment resistant until the current combo.

    When you were on Meds did you follow driections and give it at least 6 weeks as a lot people did not give it time or follow driections.
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