Thursday has fucked up my mind

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bigman2232, Mar 14, 2009.

  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    One of my downfalls is that I am extremely sensitive to certain things that happen in my life. These things are usually experiences related to girls. I've gone so long without any interest by the opposite that the smallest thing sends my mind racing and my hopes to shoot through the roof only to quickly come crashing back to reality. I've had small things like holding onto my arm or resting a head on my shoulder that has made me feel like I was on top of the world, only to come crashing back to the reality that I'm alone (other than being a friend).

    Then there is what has happened with C. I met C this year and I was attracted to her immediately (a rarity for me, I feel attraction for personality not just looks). She's been dating other guys since two weeks after I met her but I've also been around as what I feel is a close friend during this time. She gets drunk when she is upset and I usually keep an eye on her. One night she was upset and drunk and she gave me a kiss on the cheek (twice). Nothing for most but to me, it was literally the most I've ever gotten from a girl other than a half felt hug.

    My nature is to make people feel as good as they can and watch out for them because I know how bad I have felt and how much I wish I had someone there. So I always become the friend that is the protector.

    Well thursday night I went out with C and her current trial bf. We saw a band a high school friend of hers was in and they were awesome and we all got drunk :biggrin:. Basically end of the night had me come back to the townhouse complex C and I live in while she and her bf went back to his place. I passed out but was awoken by banging on my bedroom door and C yelling my name. She basically yelled "I need you" and when I finally opened my door she buried her head in my chest and hugged me while she was crying. I just held her until she was ready and then I took her home. Turns out she had argued with her bf and he followed her back and scared her to the point of tears (that he wasn't going to leave her alone. I don't have full details).

    So now I've had a girl I am extremely attracted to wake me and tell me she needed me (even though my roommate had gotten up and made her bf go home before I was even up) and I'm completely fucked in the mind. I don't know if she actually likes me or if it's just because I am the big guy who protects everyone and who I know everyone will turn to if they really need protection.

    It's one thing to have things happen that I know can be attributed to a more touchy, feely personality. But to have someone bang on my door for several minutes because I'm the only one they feel safe having around them, I just don't know. I'm so confused.
     
  2. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    I think people have kinda summed everything up before in previous posts, get better friends, find responsible people, besides if you meet a girl she might not like you further because of the people you associate with brings an image of irresponsibility...I don't know.
     
  3. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    from a female point of view....
    if there is a crisis
    who ''''we''' turn to...
    means who we trust.

    i recently had this happen in my life. different detailsl ((heh heh, since i'm ancient :rolleyes:)

    but found that the one i was turning to when things were dark. . . or scary... was, well, was the one i love...
     
  4. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Well I don't really know how what happened to her would be considered irresponsible and I'm not friends with the guy (I just act appropriately because I want to be around her and he's the one she has chosen for now).

    I know she trusts me. She talks to me about things I don't think she usually talks about and I have proven that I will be there when needed. It's just the same thing that I have always dealt with. Always being the friend instead of anything more.

    We'll be hanging out all day Tuesday for St. Pat's day so that will either go one of two ways. I'll find out what the situation is or I'll end up just as confused as I am now.
     
  5. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    Well I found out the situation. Just another time of being the guy people trust in and who is good for protection. I know that it's a good thing to be and that it's an honour to have people feel that way about me but it's just tiring to always only be that.

    I basically play bf to tons of girls but get none of the physical part. :mad:
     
  6. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hey Bigman, in all your posts you always come over as a great, supportive and caring guy. One day some woman is going to realize just how much that is worth. This time was a kiss which you say is a step forward. Keep stepping mate and who knows what will come next. Best wishes, Simon.
     
  7. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    she treats you as a good friend. better not get ur emotions involved. Girls are known to have good close guy friends who they can depend on but have no intentions to have an intimate relationship with them. I was mistaken once too and gosh, it really took a big blow on my feelings.