Ticking bomb..

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DrownedGirl, Apr 18, 2008.

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  1. DrownedGirl

    DrownedGirl Well-Known Member

    .waiting to exsplode. I am just waiting that someone comes and pushes me ..yeah..just waiting cozz i know that one will come.. The same as he would put a knife on my neck. I can alredy fell the cold blade. Do you know what is funny?= Pac said that he was felling that death is crawling behind him.. he was so right. I can fell it..i can smell the flowers. i can see people cryin there guts out..They can cry,but they will never make it better. They screwed me totally. This one rapped me..that one mentaly abused me..that one buliyed me..they can all burn..you know where. Yeah..it will burn their souls..to the rest of their lifes.

    ALL I REALLY WANTED WAS TO BELONG SOMEWHERE..TO BE LOVED..TO BE SAFE..TO BE A CHILD..TO HAVE..A CHILDHOOD..AND TO HAVE THAT MOMENT TO SHOW EVERYONE WHAT THEY DID TO ME.
     
  2. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    can you please post more detils i woud really like to know whats coaused you to feel this way.

    im guessing your still living with your parents and some of the abuse is/was coming gfrom them? if so i would sugest you move. be proactive see what benifits you can get off the govenrtment for soemone your age without a job living on their own, when you have that you can look for a flat and can be away from them.

    my escapre back to childhod is goign to uni this septemvber. even if its a crappy one you will still amkea tin of frends(no matter what type of person you are) and can live how you want to live.

    if i had a place of miy own i woudl ask you to live with me for a bit so you can get things into perspective.
     
  3. DrownedGirl

    DrownedGirl Well-Known Member

    I faced abuse when i was a kid. Rape. At my home there is a lot of psyhical abuse. I know they wanna mentaly break me that i would be a puppet for the rest of my life. People that i run in to in my regular day,dont` care. To boys i am just not a womna. Rather a freak. Girls whisper behind my back. And when i come home i am alone in my room. Sometimes everything hurts and burns so much that i just can`t help myself..and i start to cut. one cut,second..i have a scare on my face. A week ago ..i lost it. I hated so much what i saw in the mirror that i shaved my head. I refuse to live this life anymore..cozz i don`t know what i am gona do if a break apart.
     
  4. weegee

    weegee Active Member

    are you stil with your parents. if it was them that abused you or even if they refuse to help you you should leave. you need to be away from all of that. you need a freind(a real friend) someone who wont think badly of you no matter what(think i covered this on your other thread). so look around this forum for a simpathetic ear who lives near you. seeing them every now and again will help you and you mighht be able to help somone else which always cheers me up.
     
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