Time and time again..

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by yursomedicated, May 9, 2009.

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  1. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I guess at the moment I am stable. But I wasn't before. I've tried killing myself practically every way. The last time before Wed night, was over two years ago. I was going to run infront of a car, but my parents somehow found out and put me into a hospital. I then found out that one of my friends died in a car crash two hours before. I think that I should be dead and not her. I wanted to die, not her. I think about her a lot and I know she should be here on earth and not me. I told myself I would never do anything like that again, for Ang.

    But on wed night, I did. I tried to hang myself. I only thought of that because my friend hung himself last March. I thought if he could do it, I could too. I took a string from my sweat shirt and wrapped it very tight around my neck. Within seconds, I could feel the blood getting trapped. My head hurt really bad and I felt like my ear drums were going to pop. Thats the only reason I stopped. Things are just tough and I don't know how to deal with them so I think about taking the easy way out. I just am so lonely and it sucks. Plus I have a lot of other problems, but no one really cares. I don't know if I will try again or not. I am hoping I don't, but I don't know.
  2. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I guess this website is just like my life...no one cares.
  3. Pad

    Pad Well-Known Member

    I care and I'm glad you are still here. I haven't attempted so I find it hard reply to these. I think I have thought about every way to kill myself but I haven't really came close to pulling it off. I know how you feel with the loneliness, please stay around, maybe if you feel like that again send me a pm and we could chat. Take care
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    It's not that we don't care, we do but there could be a number of reasons as to why you may not have received any replies.

    This particular board can be quiet at times, sometimes we may read posts but don't feel up to replying to them at that particular moment. Other times we simply do not know what to say in a post. The detail in which you spoke about your last attempt may also be a bit too much for people to read & it could also be considered as discussing methods, which is forbidden here.

    I know it can be disheartening not to get any replies but do stick around, sometimes replies can just take a few days to come through.

    Re your attempts & how you are feeling, did you seek any help for them or talk to anyone about how you were/are feeling? I'm around most days if you ever want to talk.

    Please take care :hug: xx
  5. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I have only told two friends. And they really don't seem to care. No one really does.
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    First off, welcome to SF.

    I would just like to second what Claire said above. There are many reasons you may not get a quick response here. Time zones, your particular issue, the pace at which the posts move here (very quickly).

    We are all here for the same reasons, to get help and to try and help others.

    Continue to post or send pm's to those that have said they're available. You can add me to the list, and stick around...there are a lot of caring, insightful people here. Stay with us awhile!:console:
  7. canis-lupis

    canis-lupis Well-Known Member

    You will find a lot of people here are ready to lend an ear or offer some supporting words, just complete strangers, "black letters on a white screen" but just being able to get feelings & thoughts out here helps (at least what I do and the way I think doesn't leave me 100% positive I'm nuts just about 50%) So if you wanna talk pls feel free to p.m. or i.m. me I am around quite a bit lately & at some strange times.

    But as Pad , Claire & Shades have said , Dont be disheartened by a gap in replies from post to first answer , it sometimes takes a while to settle myself into a mindset where I can try to be helpful (if I can) but I always try .

    I am hoping this finds you at a happier time than when you o/p
    :hug: :hug: :grouphug:

    Sorry , Welcome to the forum.
    & hope to talk soon
  8. tls5669

    tls5669 Active Member

    Someone always cares, Id like to all of us here do, but I cant speak for everyone. I care and if you need to get a load off you can pm me.

    Heres a hug for ya......:hug:
  9. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hi Ronnie,

    I suggest you talk to your Doctor about how you are feeling. We will support you here too but none of us are qualified & we speak only from our own experiences.

    Please keep posting & do take care.

    :hug: xx
  10. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    Thanks everyone. I have been good lately. Last night I had a panic attack at work and I felt the choking sensation again. But it went away.

    I recently just talked to a new coworker I have. She has a lot of the same problems as me. I knew that she used to be a coke addict but she hasn't touched it in years. But then the following night I got a call saying that she blew almost all of her pay check on coke. I had her come over for a little to chill out. That was on Thursday. But now it is Monday and I've been trying to contact her, but haven't had any luck. Then I just got a call from work asking me to work since she never came in and never called out. I'm really worried and have no idea what to do. I called her and she had no answer. Fuckkkkkkkkkkk
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