I never feel good anymore, physically or mentally. I am drained and feel in pieces. I can't talk it out with friends because they always send the police. If we get in an arguement, they freak that I might do something (even if I dont make any gestures or anything) and call 911 and report me. They tried to get me stop taking my antidepressants and when I said I would think about it, they called the police and told them I went off the deep end and had stopped taking my meds. I hadn't stopped them...it was 1am & I was in bed...4 hours later we got the situation straightned out, but not before I got treated like a pile by the police. The ONLY person I can open up to and not be afraid is a professor of mine. But its never enough and it's like waiting for a bomb to go off. I am so unhappy. I know if & when it happens, I'm going to try & save myself, but I never know how it'll end.