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Time Bomb

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PandorasToybox, Jul 28, 2009.

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  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    I never feel good anymore, physically or mentally. I am drained and feel in pieces.
    I can't talk it out with friends because they always send the police. If we get in an arguement, they freak that I might do something (even if I dont make any gestures or anything) and call 911 and report me.
    They tried to get me stop taking my antidepressants and when I said I would think about it, they called the police and told them I went off the deep end and had stopped taking my meds. I hadn't stopped them...it was 1am & I was in bed...4 hours later we got the situation straightned out, but not before I got treated like a pile by the police.
    The ONLY person I can open up to and not be afraid is a professor of mine.
    But its never enough and it's like waiting for a bomb to go off. I am so unhappy.
    I know if & when it happens, I'm going to try & save myself, but I never know how it'll end.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    God i would hope you could come here now and hang here with us when you get this way. We will help you get through it. Your friends are being idiots this use to happen to my twin alot too. I hope your petition gets in the right hands and people start to understand the need for people to be aware of depression especially at colleges and universtiies Please know if your prof is not avialable come here okay not the same as talking to someone in person but we are real and we will surely understand Hope your feeling better with some rest.
  3. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Thank you Mary =)

    I made a promise & because I never break a promise, if I do make an attempt I will message/call someone here to come help me or whatever they feel is best to do.
    I just want relief...the idea of being comatose and being a deep sleep gets appealing, but I know its wrong so I'm really trying to stay above the water
  4. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I'm impressed that you never break promises, sounds like me. :] I really hope it doesn't end that way, and if you ever think that you can message me. Anytime you need to talk you can message me, and I wont call the police. I will listen and try to give you the best advice I can give you.

    Be safe.

  5. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Thanks Ronnie =)

    I never break promises in such serious circumstances ... I was unable to promise the counsellors that I wouldnt do anything, but I was able to promise that if I did something I would contact someone.
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you can reach out when your in pain and that you will call someone if you do something because the world needs more people like you. People who care enough to try to make changes to help others. You are strong and you inner strength shows here please continue to reach out please I hope we can always help you.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hello and welcome to the forums.

    I'm glad you're reaching out for help and have such good friends and support workers.
    Keep working hard and one day you might be able to make that first promise to your counsellor, good luck x
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