Time drags on and everything gets worse! How did I get to 55 years of age and nothing has got better for me?! Well anyway, I used to not want to be here but now it's actually that I want to die. I can't and won't carry on like this, it's just not fair. I'm 55 ffs will I ever get the chance, seriously a chance to be happy fora while?! I don't think so considering I only have the past to go on. So I have two options 1) stick around for more misery, self loathing and loneliness or 2) just get it over and done with.