I woke up determined to kill myself today. Tried twice, quit each time. I am on my fourth week of prozac. I have good reason for wanting to die. I am not depressed and therefore wanting to die. Rather, I have real problems that have caused me to be depressed and want to kill myself. So how, will tomorrow be? Suicidal with success? Or will I try to be productive and write my business plan for GE (Very slight chance of funding) and make my proposal for H?????, very slight chance of getting the deal and the technology working. In the meantime I have to wait to see if my company will find me a new job or fire me. There are times I hope I get the courage to pull-the-plug so to speak. Other times I pretend that GE and H??? deals have a real chance. Both will take months if they get that far. So now I sign off afraid to go to bed. Wondering how suicidal I'll be when I get up. Good night.