Time has expired...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Moat, Oct 24, 2011.

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  1. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    I find myself torn. The time has come and gone. I have the <Mod Edit - Acy - methods> that I was planning on taking at one of the cliffs that overlooked Garie Beach before <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> and letting whatever was to come transpire, yet I am still here. Nothing has changed, in the way that I still think seriously of going to do that sometime today or even tonight, but why did I not go through with the plan I had, when I could already be over there, waiting for <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>? I don't know... Perhaps it is because I am waiting for something positive to happen by the end of the day...? I'm not scared of the act I have in store - I have planned it for so long and have made relative peace in what I am going to do... The only reason I can think of right now is because of an e-mail I received from my best friend in Taiwan, a few days ago, who told me that out of everyone in her family and circle of friends there, I was the only one she ever felt comfortable in talk to about her problems, because no matter what hardships she went through, I always had her smiling and feeling positive about herself when we talked...
    She said that for all I had done for her, that she believed that I was an angel sent to her and felt comforted in the knowledge that I would stand beside her always, no matter what happened and be the shoulder she could cry on...
    I told her that I would never stop being her friend and to call on me no matter the time of day or night should she ever need to talk to me about anything that was upsetting her...
    Is that was is keeping me from up and leaving now? That promise to a dear and special woman that I would do anything to take her pain and troubles away and keep them for myself, as long as she stayed happy?
    Oh, but the cute and adorable :bubbles:... It cannot be that I have feelings for her as more than being just friends, can it? Why did I even ask that question, when I already knew that I did...
    Oh, damn it, Miss Sunnie! Even though what I am going through that You know nothing about, you still are able to give me reason to pause and reflect...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad your friend contacted you hun and that you will be here for her Please get some supports for you now okay to heal so you can be strong for her if and when she needs you
     
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