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Time is almost upon me.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ozinuk, May 14, 2009.

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  1. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    Well is seems like nature is going to help me with my problem sooner rather than later. After suffering another mild heart attack last night (around 2 am) I was taken to A&E where my cardiologist and several other Dr's (at 0900 13 may) urged me to consider the treatment they have to offer and have assured me the surgery has 90% success rate and once again I declined and thanked them for their generous offer and help someone who wants help. They suggested to me it would be of great benefit if I stay for a couple of days to monitor my progress I declined and signed myself out at 1000 am.

    My wife explained to me that I am a selfish man and reminded me of our wedding vows "How I Promised" to love, honour, cherish till death do us part, I reminded her of the promises she also made (she said that was different) and I was told to get over it and get on with it (life that is) I told her I wish it was a simple as that. It's like that old saying if you only had a short time left what would you do I'm glad I have limited time because I have quite a few scores to settle.

    Now all I have to do is wait.:sadwave:
  2. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    Your wife is right, you know. Suicide is a selfish act. The ones left behind are the ones that hurt. She still cares about you and she will be hurt. I don't know whether that will make you feel bad or good, but it is a fact.
    It is also important to think about the question of whether refusing treatment is suicide. Probably not legally, and probably won't affect insurance, but if the motive is to die - it is.
    Whatever is wrong between your wife and yourself, you should spend your energy fixing it. Life can be worth it.
  3. kerplunk86

    kerplunk86 Member

    DOn't listen to the person above. Suicide is not a selfish act. Expecting someone to remain in pain for the sake of others is selfish...
  4. Roadwarrior

    Roadwarrior Member

    Both replies are correct. It depends on your personal circumstances. You should consider the feelings of others and others should consider your feelings as well.

    I will say, the only thing that keeps me from turning off is "others" and the fact I just can't wait to see what will happen next. :)

  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Knowing what I do about your situation and what your wife has put you through, she has no right to call you selfish or to make comments to you about keeping a promise. You aren't a selfish person.
  6. Roadwarrior

    Roadwarrior Member

    Wild Cherry, it's been my experience that most people will use whatever tools they can to talk you out of giving up or committing suicide. Regardless of the circumstances, people are going to be, in the end, derogatory if that is all they have left to throw at you.

    It's sad that today, with the level of medicine we enjoy, if you don't take the medicine, you are considered to be suicidal. We have very few choices in life. I think how I die should be something I can have for myself. What do you think?

    You know, I'm just going on here with no one knowing a thing about me.

    I was wounded in Viet Nam. I've lived with chronic pain since that day. It eats at you forever and you never find comfort or a place to relax. What is relaxing for me is uncomfortable for the average person.

    After the age of 50, I started looking at the idea that the world has no right to force me, through philosophy, religion, or what ever, to live this life that has become too uncomfortable. Relief and a good nights sleep is something I yearn for and day dream about all the time. I'm reduced to taking pain medications daily and they interfere with my ability to satisfy my over-abundant curiosity about the world around me. I'm still trucking along though, making up excuses to hang around, mostly worried about how others will feel if I leave.
  7. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    Jack Rabbit and Roadwarrior the definition of suicide in it's simplest form is "Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, to kill oneself) is the intentional taking of one's own life" what I am doing is refusing treatment and according to the laws of the Uk

    "You have the right to refuse medical treatment unless you have a notifiable disease or you have been detained for psychiatric reasons (usually called being sectioned). In fact, your consent is needed for most medical matters, but simply going to see a doctor can be regarded as implied consent for an examination or treatment. If you are concerned about a specific type of treatment, the doctor is obliged to describe other forms of treatment that are available. Forcing treatment on a patient who has refused can be considered assault.

    You have a right to refuse or stop treatment at any time, even if this means you may die. It is illegal for a doctor to actively cause death, for example massively increasing dosages of drugs which may bring about an earlier death. If you are concerned that you will be unable to make your wishes known at a later stage in an illness, it may be wise to tell the doctor at what stage you want to stop treatment. This is called making an advance decision."

    Neither my medical or psychological problems are deemed as a notifiable diseases and to be honest I feel no guilt in what is happening as it is a natural part of life it eventually happens to us all.

    I hope you all understand what is happening But only a few know why it's happening.:sad:
  8. Roadwarrior

    Roadwarrior Member

    I got your back friend :)
    Yes I understand completely where your coming from. Sorry if my poor attempt at clarity sounds otherwise. :)

    I'm going to have a hip replacement operation soon. I plan to let the doctor know if anything happens on the operating table that no attempts at recessitation are to be administered. I'm not suicidal (in the normal sense) just want to move on if my time comes, early or otherwise.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also have had a heart attack and have made my wishes known that I don't want any surgery when the time comes.. I am going to have a living will made up stating I will not be resussitated and any other means to bring me back.. When the time comes it is my decision to leave this screwed up world and go forth to what ever lies beyond..
  10. ozinuk

    ozinuk Well-Known Member

    Why is nature taking so long, I'm doing all I can to assist her but so far I get pain then nothing I was worse of before I quite my heart med's I should start taking them again and see what happens, nature is a cruel and unpredictable mistress I wish she'd make her mind up other wise I'll have to take charge.:sad:
  11. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    You know the one thing about death is...for all we know...it is permanent. Are you really that sure about leaving? Can you say beyond any doubt that there is nothing else you would like to say, think, see, hear...experience...

    I wish you the very best! PM me if you want to talk about the bitch known as life..or anythning ..
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