So I think it's time I just drop the bomb and say everything I've thought and felt to my therapist. I've printed off the notes I wrote saying everything I couldn't say in person over the last 3 years. The apologies, the selfish wants and the reasons why suicide is something I've so completely thought about. I don't care what the consequences are anymore. My mind will not shut up and I just need someone to know how fucked up it is inside there. If I end up in some looney bin, then so be it. These things are so embarrassing but I don't think I could ever say them any other way. I read over them and all I think about is what will others think. I'm just so tired of trying to be someone that people like and hiding the fact that I may be a complete asshole.