Hi I've decided to end by life. I have suffered with depression all my life (now 41). I sort medical help about 15 years ago, been put on various anti depressants, and tried numerous talking thearpises, but still I want to not exist. I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar. All this has meant is more drugs. But I still want to die. I do not want to hurt my family, but still the suicide thoughts keep coming. I have been upfront and honest with the doctors, but they do not seem to have anything to offer. I've got all the equipment ready, the hotel room booked. All I ask, is their something I'm missing? I've sort help, but their dosen't seem anything forth coming apart from drugs which make me feel worse.