Howdy y'all, New to the site - just thought I'd give you a rundown of why I am here at the forum. I am currently attending a relatively prestigious technical university (4 year) and this semester I am going to fail; it's beyond the point of remedy. I support myself - I have no other 'support' network to speak of. My parents never really wanted anything to do with my support; they have made that very clear (they would rather I be homeless than live with them, no particular event triggered this, there is no rhyme or reason to it) - they say they still love me, they just don't want to show support in any way, shape, or form. I am $30000 USD in debt right now, from schooling alone - paid off my other bills with what I have from this. I am sort of at a loss to figure out where I'm headed - as I really have no plans for after I am kicked out of my dorm here, coming up in a month and a half I will have no place to live. Of course with my Dx (Severe Depression w/Psychotic features) - my ideation is going berserk. Not really sure where I'm headed, but something tells me I really do know where I am headed (the end). Strange thing is, I don't feel sad, angry, or anything (not really suppressing the emotions either). Don't want to do another stint in the hospital, tired of their antics; wouldn't survive it if I went again. I've been numbing myself with alcohol and smoking (cannabis and tobacco) for the past week or two, trying to keep my mind from being too rash. Just not sure what I can do, feeling pretty powerless and worthless right now (doesn't help living in a college dorm with some real cruel people).