Tipping point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aki, May 8, 2008.

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  1. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I think my mum is crazy. She just got completely hysterical - screaming her head off,crying, trying to push me out of the way - she looked completely insane. And it was over the most trivial thing ever, I was showing her how to use the vacuum cleaner :huh: Ifelt terrible already today but now I feel even worse because I got really frustrated and I hit her, ugh god she just came in all high and mighty 'you shouldn't hit me' like she nothing at all her herself...after I hit her she threw a tin of food and a chair at me. I just want to die now...I just want to die :sad: please god I wish I was dead....
    No one is going to feel any sympathy for me I know...I know violence is awful and isn't tolerated by the people on here. But...oh...I'm still making excuses - 'I was provoked' Fucking hell! At least when people come on here and say how much they hate themselves and everything people can actually say 'you are a good person' but I'm not a good person, and here is the evidence.
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I felt the same way when I would get into confrontations with my mom. I suffered from what therapists call emotional enmeshment. That's when your self worth depends on someone else's opnion of you. And when my mom was mad at me, I felt awful. However, these emotional episodes don't last. You and your mom will get over it, or at least talk it out. I know you didn't mean to hit her. Sometimes tensions are so high in a household, people reach their limits. I wouldn't worry about it.:wink:
  3. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    Sometimes all it takes to defuse a situation is a genuine apology, and not hoping for an apology in return. Genuine regret plus genuine apology equals all you can do.

    I'm sorry that you have to live in a violent environment. It can destroy a person. But you alone have control of how you'll respond and the extent to which the violence will affect you. For me, part of the choices I make includes the help of a therapist.

    I hope you'll find the supportive help you need to get through this terrible situation.
  4. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Even good people can be bad sometimes. I guess that was one of you time.

    Tell her that you are sorry and try to explain what happened and why it happened.
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