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tips for the lonely?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by satyesu, May 24, 2009.

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  1. satyesu

    satyesu Member

    i can't seem to find satisfaction with mundane small talk or anyone with whom i can consistently find interesting conversation. i have friends, but i don't know how to (if it's even okay) to just call them up and talk about something i care about. i'm becoming increasingly shy and going out less and less, and i can't seem to break out of it. around twilight i usually get depressed and i just get sucked in until i go to sleep. i should be able to help myself but i feel so lethargic and uninterested. help with any of this is appreciated, thanks.

    to further break the continuity of this spill, after six months in hospitals my friends have grown more distant. they never called often, and when one of us does extend contact usually they invite 1+ people along who i just do not mesh with and the talk falls into sexual innuendo, profanity, etc and even though i know they're good guys they try to fit in by following along.

    in short, how do i bond, rebond, and work up the will to do it?
  2. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    You partly HAVE to play along with the game. You have to strike small talk, innapropriate talk, etc. before delving into anything real serious or deep. Its like any real true relationship as a whole. People are always (conciously and subconsciously) measuring and calculating the person they are in company with and whether or not they are compatible together and on what level that compatibility is. You start off with things on a broad angle, (soooo...how bout that economy?) and eventually when you feel you're comfortable with the person and have things in common and you trust eachother you can open up about shit (i'm fuckin depressed today man). Relationships are a huge fucking balancing act and arent always easy to master or stay consistant with. try not to isolate yourself otherwise it will be hard to achieve this level of freindship (in my experience).
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm right with you. I don't know how to bond. I usually end up looking for damaged girls that I can relate to and end up getting in shitty relationships with you. So I guess I just replied to say I can relate, and if there are some good responses I'm going to take some advice too.

    I guess I would say try to meet people whether through work, school, volunterring. Any way you can. And not everyone is superficial, though it sure seems like it :hug:
  4. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    You find friends by doing stuff, not by making friends. It's hard to figure out while you're depressed, but you need to find things you enjoy. For me it's motorcycles, guns, sailing and fishing. And computers. Oh, and books. Well, sex, too, but that doesn't count (at least not here). These aren't suggestions, just examples. When you get together with people who enjoy the same things - conversation comes naturally. Plus, never underestimate the value of silence.
  5. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    I agree
  6. MeAndYou

    MeAndYou Well-Known Member

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH soooo off topci but it made my drunkin ass laugh very hard. the book was horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrible and the movie was ...meh at best.
    oh well
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