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tired, drained

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by firehawk1, Aug 24, 2008.

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  1. firehawk1

    firehawk1 Well-Known Member

    yeh I am. totally.

    again, thought me and this "girl" had something going but obviously not. says one thing, means something else, does something else then says "oh you say the most sweetiest things and this is what a girl wants".

    then she is like "your are just not boyfriend material" - uh hang on, do you know how that feels? One minute you are saying I am sweetiest and different, something you want, the next that?

    what the hell is wrong with women? i keep hearing "oh you will find someone" - when? It's been YEARS!!!!!!!!!! how do you know if I will find someone? Why cant that someone be you? Proove you are different..proove you arent shallow... but instead they proove they are just that

    I cant live without passion/love/affection or just without touching a fingertip. i have so much to give, all this energy wasting and bubbling up uncontrollably.... I'm so positive but there is only so much you can do even after changing your life for the better, which in itself is a very hard and challanging thing to do and people say its easy - its not.

    i dunno why... why am I living? Why am I breathing? Why can I not have a relationship like everyone else? Why are women picky, fussy and racist? seriously.... then they bitch about how they cant find a decent man.....

    stupid. I've just given up and in this world of just me and no hope. seriously. its just not ... nice. have no energy or strength for anything and I dunno how I am coping because I live alone... and no one to help me or cheer me up or pick me up... and I want someone to do that too....

    like im being raped into thinking that I shouldnt have a relationship and no one listens at all

    I bet if I were on Oprah, people would take a huge interest in my life/story.... and change. seriously, that is how convinced I am.

    have so much to give, so comfortable being around (as some people say) yet..... they dont want it and bitch about the fact they want it.
    people have dates, i never have. its almost been a year since my first and last unfortunate ex.... and that ending was just so bad and so rough and im still drained from it. i know every weekend she sleeps with someone (who is a mother of 2).... and i just slip into some coma thinking about it every weekend.... i know what she is doing. no sense of respect, no care, nothing. so why was she with me then?

    when are women going to learn?

    every weekend i have been in for the past 10 months, all my programmes are always cancelled. i was this close to suicide last night.... every freaking weekend I am in alone whilst everyone is out...with someone.

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 24, 2008
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also am tired but I keep on living day to day. After fifteen years of this and isolating without any input from others I just don't care what happens to me. My therapist says that I don't care what happens to me and that I have given up. She keeps trying to get me out of the house because that is the only place I feel safe.
    I feel I am doing enough as far as getting out. Amongst the few places I will go to I now have to get my daughter and grandaughter around.I'm usually good for three places and then I have to beeline it back to the house and lock my self in my room. That is the only place I can unwind and calm down...I hope you will keep posting and try the chat room. Everyone says it helps because you can talk to someone and make friends. Myself I can't get in there. I have tried everything that others have suggested and no luck I still can't get in. Take care and I hope to see you around on the forum...
  3. firehawk1

    firehawk1 Well-Known Member

    sorry to hear. sucks huh?

    just put out more ads and responded to more dating ads, stupid people so narrow minded then call me narrow minded? how is no criteria (for me) narrow minded when they are narrow minded and have tons of criteria, one of which specifically is that you have to be white.

    stupid women. seriously need to be taught some lessons.
  4. flowerpot

    flowerpot Well-Known Member

    I somewhat know what you mean.. But I am a woman..
    People just suck
    Well the majority, I'm sick and tired of everyone and their ways
    I hope you find something to help you feel better though, or to fix things
  5. firehawk1

    firehawk1 Well-Known Member

    I wish i could. it just sucks. there is nothing more degreding and a put off than over confident cocky women....
  6. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    I ended my search for a good woman 36 years ago, when I married my wife. Before that, I was very shy and had a hard time with dating. Girls were looking for mates, not friends, and in college I saw no mating material - until I met my wife at the church my Dad pastored. You might (or might not) find the kind of person you're looking for at church singles' groups or perhaps e-harmony.com.

    Don't give up on women as a whole based on your experience thus far. There really are some great ones out there who'd love to meet a man like you.

  7. middleofnowhere

    middleofnowhere Well-Known Member

    And look for the good, positive things in people around you.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Firehawk,
    If you want to have a relationship you need to change your attitude! No woman in her right mind is going to want to meet you when all you do is degrade them.
    I am male and I think you should step back and take a reality check! When you can show respect, then you will probably have a whole different look at things. I have had bad luck with women, but I don't let that cloud my judgement. Give it a go and stop and look how you are treating them..Good Luck...:chopper:...
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Your around the wrong women. Although your genuine, those women are not. When you do find someone who is totally into you and who won't mess you around then it will all change for you.
  10. firehawk1

    firehawk1 Well-Known Member

    stranger1: sorry but you dont know me well enough.... I have a great attitude and dont degrade them but they degrade themselves. just because I send a picture they are always like "ugggllllyyyy get away"... but say I have a good personality... but they just want a hot pretty boy and I am not that - not my fault.

    sorry but there is no hope. I have a better life than a did before, and I am the most improved and better person than I was, but its not my fault if things like this happen. there is only so much you can do - maybe it works for you but remember, not for everyone.

    Sorry but you don't get it because you aren't colored.
  11. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    I know of the same problem that you have, I am white. Actually there's an attractive African girl that lives near me and we get on great. There are some great women I know who make great friends although I certainly don't approve of many of their life choices.

    Move to South Africa, there's lots of nice black girls here. :wink: and Botswana's great too, people think it isn't rich but it is.
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