I can no longer live. It was good to feel what happiness felt like. Though with that came the revival of all of my emotions. I was so close to being saved. Though it was only an illusion. My meds, there no longer working. They can't keep the illusion up anymore. I'm to weak. I have I already planned everything out. My note is written, I have already made preparations, yet idk when I will do it? When will it be the right time? Though this isn't the first time I've planned my death. The problem I always had is that I waited to long for the right moment. There is no right moment. The earlier the better. I have lived past my death date. I was dead from the start, for a moment I was brought back to life, though now death is pulling me back to where I belong. I can't escape it, I've tried so hard too, yet I failed. I'm tired. I tried, I really did & at the end I ended up back where i started.