Tired, I tried.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ethan Sol, Jun 18, 2016.

  1. Ethan Sol

    Ethan Sol Member

    I can no longer live. It was good to feel what happiness felt like. Though with that came the revival of all of my emotions. I was so close to being saved. Though it was only an illusion. My meds, there no longer working. They can't keep the illusion up anymore. I'm to weak. I have I already planned everything out. My note is written, I have already made preparations, yet idk when I will do it? When will it be the right time? Though this isn't the first time I've planned my death. The problem I always had is that I waited to long for the right moment. There is no right moment. The earlier the better. I have lived past my death date. I was dead from the start, for a moment I was brought back to life, though now death is pulling me back to where I belong. I can't escape it, I've tried so hard too, yet I failed. I'm tired. I tried, I really did & at the end I ended up back where i started.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Ethan, have you sought pofessional help and advice? I would suggest that you contact your local crisis nurse at your local hospital. Suicide should never be considered an option. You are better than that. While you are still alive you can mend things, in death you cannot. You and your professionals can work together to make a life worth living. I do hope you get help and begin to feel better soon. Keep us updated my friend :)
     
  3. Ethan Sol

    Ethan Sol Member

     
  4. Ethan Sol

    Ethan Sol Member

    I accidentally pressed post. Shit
     
  5. Ethan Sol

    Ethan Sol Member

    Yes I have. How the hell do you think I got meds. I have seen a total of 3 psychologist, & 2 psychiatrist.
     
  6. Ethan Sol

    Ethan Sol Member

    I was admitted into a psychatric hospital. & im currently getting "help", just because they have a degree in psychology doesn't mean they can make miracles happen. Some of them don't really even care, you could see that there just pretending. How the fuck is a 30 min secession 2x a month supposed to help me? Even if it was an hour long it still wouldn't do shit, as he's a shit therapist. Then someone is going to tell me "oh go see another therapist" easier said than done. First off there aren't many psychologist, second thing not all of them accept your health insurance. Third thing is you don't know whether there going to be good or bad. Fourth is do you know how long it takes to find a psychologist & psychiatrist?
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I menat are you still seing a profeaaonial. There was no need to be rude, I was only trying to help you.

    I agree though that 2 x a month therapy is not very helpful, its not enough. Personally, i have 3.5 hours of therapy a week, DBT to be exact (i was lucky i was chosen for a research study). I don't not live in the states or aus, I have no idea how insurance works but maybe you can find a research study like I did? I agree with you that it's hard to find help, im not disagreeing with you. I know a lot is easier said than done. Please try and find another therapist that will take your insurance. I know its difficult to start all over again, I have been there, suicide is not the solution here, please keep that in mind.,