I've not posted here much, and I feel very guilty for moaning on and not supporting other members as much as I should, but right now I don't think I would be much help to anyone, I am 22 years old just turned (Feb 25th), I am too young to be sat here in absloute misery feeling sorry for myself, I should be out having fun, meeting people, going to see the bands I love etc etc, but here I am, sat online day in day out, why? Because my mind is not wired socialy, my Asperger Syndrome, as much as it is part of me like my hands and feet are, means I find it near impossible to even face other people or be around them in any kind of social way, I mean I can hold a quick conversation with a stranger on a bus, but anything in depth that means I have to form any kind of relationship with anyone, I ether hurt them in some way or I get my back stabbed because I cannot tell when someone is playing me or trying to use me, so for me it is safer to stay away from this kind of thing before I find myself in serious trouble. So one day I read online that you could buy pills with Codeine in them from the pharmacy (in the UK) so I thought, hey lets give them a try for my period pain, which blights my life just so you know, so I did just that, and from that day, about a month and a half ago, I found a friend, something that did not judge me or care about who I was, somthing that covered up my deficits in such a beautiful bittersweet way, something that lets me put music on and get lost in it like i used to do when I was younger, something that lets me get up in the morning and get out of my aching body and take a walk downtown without being afraid, when I'm on these pills it is like I have been transfered into another body that does ache or have horrific migranes every morning, I am free, I can only describe the feeling these pills give me as the way a bird that has been trapped in a cage all it's life breaking free, being able to sing and love the sun again, I finaly feel like a human again, they even keep me from crying, and please do not suggest anti depressants, I've been on these before and I went crazy, people with Aspergers often have extreme bad reactions to stuff like that. I am now addicted to these pills, and they have taken over my life, I could stop them, but go back to my pain wracked body, no way, I stop these I die. Most people take stuff so they don't have to feel, but I am the opposite, these pills allow me to feel again from under the shadow of pain, they are my liberation, my salvation, my freedom, and my downfall.