December 2010 was injured at work and have had 4 major back surgeries. And to present day have severe chronic pain in both legs and lower and upper back. All these yrs have been living hell. I hurt so bad every day and all the meds, therapy, countless procedures haven't helped. Now found out my last fusion isnt solid, no new bone growth. So tired of this pain. I feel worthless and a burden to my wife and family. Workers comp listed me now permanently total disabled. Just so tired and tired of living. I attempted suicide a few months back. <mod edit - methods>. Since then been seeing a pain psychologist. Last few days feeling down again and fear I'm gonna have suicidal thoughts again. Was told I'll be in pain rest of my life.