Tired of being the caretaker

Witty_Sarcasm

🦄🦜🧁🌈🌝💖
SF Supporter
#1
Since I was young, I've had to take care of everyone else. I've had to help take care of my grandfather, and now my mother, but I do it without much complaint. But when I was young, no one looked after me. They were too busy fighting to see how I was doing. No one cared when I was depressed or suicidal as a kid, or tried to get me any help. I had to do that all on my own. The worst part is that everyone assumes I'll just keep filling that role. My sister says I can get paid to take care of my mother, but I don't care about that. She won't offer to help, and no one else ever does. It's hard to deal with the mental and physical issues that mostly drain my energy, all while having to keep up with others' demands. I helped my grandpa and all he did was put me down, and my mother more or less does the same. I feel like I've had to do everything alone all of my life. I don't get much support outside of this site at all. It really takes a toll on me after a while. I have needs too, why can't people see that? I feel like I might be acting ungrateful. People usually expect you to take care of your elders, but what if they never took care of you? Why do you need to be expected to help them, especially if they make things more difficult for you? How can I keep pretending I have the stamina for everything, when I feel like I'm about ready to burn out?
 

Astrid78

that's what he thinks
#2
Giving up the role of care giver, placing myself first was the best thing I could have ever done and at first I felt selfish, but frankly I am important too damn it, and if those I have cared for, placed myself last for, can't see that, they obviously do not love nor care about me. It is toxic, abusive and selfish of anyone to take advantage of another persons kindness.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

🦄🦜🧁🌈🌝💖
SF Supporter
#3
Giving up the role of care giver, placing myself first was the best thing I could have ever done and at first I felt selfish, but frankly I am important too damn it, and if those I have cared for, placed myself last for, can't see that, they obviously do not love nor care about me. It is toxic, abusive and selfish of anyone to take advantage of another persons kindness.
You're right about that. I'm glad that you were able to break out if the cycle.
 

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