Every day for at least the last five years I have thought about killing myself. Usually I'm too scared or don't know how to best go about it and I think that's the only reason I'm still here. I'm tired of feeling alone. I grew up a loner with very few friends in a school full of judgmental Christians. I have a few friends who I care about deeply and reach out to constantly..but whenever I need support no one's there. All anyone can say is "oh it will get better". I'm tired of being used in all my relationships including any romantic ones. I'm tired of feeling ugly. I'm tired of being screwed over at work (and now, laid off). I have nothing to show for my 26 years here on Earth. I don't see how things will ever change to the point where I can enjoy life and feel good about myself.