I've finally gotten to the point to where I am honestly tired of being depressed. I used to be sorta in love with my sadness, but now it has taken me over, held me hostage. I can't think of any reason why I should continue. Images of what I want to do to myself haunt me and I'm scared that my thoughts are going to kill me. NO ONE understands me and I don't even understand myself. I'm just getting too close for comfort in fulfilling my sick fantasies. It seems like everyone who loves me I don't love back and the one person who I want to love me doesn't want me at all.