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Tired of.. everything

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ragna90, Mar 26, 2012.

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  1. ragna90

    ragna90 New Member

    Hi, I'm new here. So here's a quick sum-up of what led me to the state I'm in today.
    Btw, I'm 22 years old and from Norway.

    A year ago my closest and best friend ever killed himself. I know why, because we talked openly about everything, and had a connection I've never had with anyone.
    My teacher at schoold, whom I really love and could allways talk to, quit the day after. I never got to tell him about what happened.
    I got a great relationship with a new friend, but then he suddenly didn't want to be around me anymore, never said why, haven't heard from him since.
    My grandmother, I was very close to her, died after lying on deathbed for almost three weeks. Me and my cousin sat beside her the entire time, watching her fade away.
    New friend sais he don't want me to come over anymore, that he doesn't want to be friends(out of the blue).

    My best friends passing totally crushed my heart. I stopped jogging, witch i love, and found my self quitting several of the things i used to enjoy, because they don't make anything any better. I skipped school a lot, still do, because I have no motivation to go on. I just sit in bed, I eat a lot, and when I'm with friends I'd rather be drunk, because then I can forget that I hate the way my life is.

    So, since I really want to be with my best friend(the dead one), and everything else just seems dull, I've been thinking about ending my life ever since he died.
    And yeah, I'm using venlafaxin/effexor(happy pills), since my psyciatrist(?) offered..

    Tadaaa(read with little enthusiasm). Anyone want to swith lives, I'm sick of peole leaving me..?
  2. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    first of all, be aware that you are such a strong person. i'm sorry for your losses.
    i may not have any advice to give, just a gentle hug. :hug:
    just stay strong and hold on until you can be on your own again one day.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    It's really hard when someone we care about dies...I'm sorry this happened to you. People leave me all the time too, in different ways, so I can relate to how you are feeling about that. I wish you weren't feeling so low, but there's not much I can say to help, I guess. Wish there was more I could do, but I'm here if you want to talk.
  4. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    Too bad we all have to die someday. I'm actually very scared of death. That's why I lean on religion. If I can have my wish fulfilled, I want God to take me now. So sick of suffering in this world.
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