tired of fighting it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by corang, Jan 11, 2010.

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  1. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    My depression is back again and I really dont feel like going through months of fighting just to stay alive. Even if I make it through it this time itll be back again and again after that and so on. Last time I was depressed I spent hours trying to find the perfect way to kill myself and found it plus so many back up plans I can do it just about anywhere without preparation. I just dont see the point in going through this over and over if I can die so easily.
     
  2. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    What's bothering you?
     
  3. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    Im not even sure whats bothering me I just woke up today not wanting to live. I feel pathedic because I dont have any reason for wanting to die exept I woke up thinking death would be easier. Thats been the only thing Ive been able to think about all day. Life seems so pointless wake up go to school/work come home do something to kill the time go to sleep start over. Life just seems so boring to me and I cant seem to find any happiness today.
     
  4. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    You're only building your life up, it can be like a routine going to work and school, but things can change, and if you let them they will.....
     
  5. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    i know what you mean.. i have the same situation.. im also tired to fight for my life.. but i choose to live rather to kill myself.
     
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Justin!!!!!!!!!!!! Pm please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey Justin,
    When you are done contacting shades why don't you give me ring in PM too. I really care about your situation and as someone who has battled this all her life I am all to familiar with the ups and downs. I will not kid you as my guess you have a few more up/down cycles ahead the point is things can be done to make the lows not so low and the ride more bearable.
    I forgot to see if you are new or not but having a place like SF to talk and get support makes a huge difference.

    We are here for you and take care,
    Bambi
     
  8. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Justin, you just helped someone through a crisis. People need you...never forget that!

    Mike

    sent you a pm
     
  9. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone Im scared of going through this again. I remember the horrible things Ive imagined doing, the hopeless-ness, the want for death. Months of all horrible thoughts and feelings and getting so bad I liked them. I dont wanna go back to it so badly.
     
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