tired of fighting this depression

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ladycathy1, Feb 4, 2010.

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  1. ladycathy1

    ladycathy1 Active Member

    I just want to say that I have made an important decision tonight. I am so tired of fighting this depression. It is a never ending battle that I have fought for years. I have been in and out of p-hospitals and done years of therapy. I have a difficult time talking about my feelings-I do better at writing them down. Even writing down everything gets old to me. It is strange the peace one feels when the decision is made. I never had any children of my own. I lost my husband 6 years ago in Feb. I have since then lived with an abusive guy for three years. I moved out over a year ago but I keep being haunted by things that were done. I have tried to get out more, I saw my family doctor for the depression. It was a joke-he just came in and said I heard you were feeling bad and gave me a new antidepressant. He did not even look at me. I gave him a letter even telling about being suicidal. I have choosen a time. I tried to help others but I can't help my self anymore. I am at peace with my important decision. I have lived 51 years. I am ready to move on. Cathy
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    You have come this far Cathy don't give up....see another Doctor and another if you have to till you find one that will help you...talk to a crisis line ...you were brave enough to leave an abusive relationship so look after yourself now...
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am 51 as well and i know how tired it gets fighting the depression I just started on new medication and it has helped some I am seeing a psychologist not a GP for the trauma the depression and it also helps. Seek professional help okay a doctor that deals with depression and grief and trauma this will help you cope You reached out here keep reaching out okay because you deserve peace and happiness You want the sadness gone the pain death is not the answer healing is. take care.
  4. ladycathy1

    ladycathy1 Active Member

    Thank you for caring. I just feel like it is not worth going on.
    I picked the 6th. My husband died on the 26th of Feb. 2004. I already have a place for me next to him. I don't mean to worry anyone with my decision. I did reach out because part of me thought maybe I did want to live. So much suffering-so much pain in this world. I also decided to stop most of my meds. Medications for my heart and depression. I only take the over the counter meds for pain. I don't have it in me to keep on going. Cathy
  5. ladycathy1

    ladycathy1 Active Member

    Just letting everyone know I am needing to go to the hospital. I know my depression is ruling my life. How do you get brave enough for the hospital? Cathy
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Cathy I think you are already brave because you have admitted you need help and want to get it......
    can you call anyone to take you to the hospital?..is there a crisis line you can call for information.....
    you need to get back on your meds so please get some support...
  7. ladycathy1

    ladycathy1 Active Member

    I am having a difficult time telling someone about needing the P-hospital. I am embarrassed to admit to family that I need help. My mom and sister always tells me I am the strong one. I told my family doctor and felt like I could have just crawed into a hole to die. I felt like he would not care. I am having a difficult time. I have made dates before and never followed through with it. I really think I can but end up with an excuse. I have tried before and failed-I just exist. We don't have a p-hospital where I live. You have to go 20+ miles to get to one. I am like so many others-tired of being. Cathy
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am just like you I find it hard because i am the one everyone calls for help. I am everyones strength and yet i am so tired. I hope you can get back on some antidepressants different ones maybe that are newer. Call crisis okay even if it is just too talk hearing a real voice helps sometimes. If you need help call the emergency number in your area and go to hospital for a stay just till you get stable. Just tell family members your not feeling well and be away for awhile. I hope you could reach out to more than just a GP because they cannot really help much A psychologist would help more Please go back on your medication and phone for help okay you need some peace and the medication does give that a bit. take care
  9. Sfrisbee

    Sfrisbee New Member

    Hey Cathy

    I'm really sorry to hear this. I know what it feels like to fight a depression.
    I have something that you should really look at.

    Go to youtube and type in "biology of belief", some very empowering stuff there!

    Please, have a look! I know you're growing tired but please give yourself a last chance!

    I feel very deeply for you and hope everything turnes out well.
  10. dhaxelbarqs

    dhaxelbarqs New Member

    I too suffer from depression and the need to sleep constantly. My meds work, but I am just always so tired.

    <mod edit: *useless*: advertising>
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 19, 2010
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    does anyone know how Cathy is?
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