Tired of fucking up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TragicActor, Apr 13, 2015.

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  1. TragicActor

    TragicActor Member

    I am just tired of fucking up. Simple as that.

    I have problems reacting to things. I see something on Facebook, and it sets me off.

    It happened again today. I don't even do something that loud - I have a habit of rubbing my hands together when I'm upset. I don't yell, I don't scream, I just do that.

    But my wife hears me, and that's enough. It gets her upset. At me.

    She made me delete my Facebook account. I know I need to not get upset at things I read, but at the same time, I don't even know how to deal with things that other people say without getting upset. And clearly, I don't know how to manage my upset without other people getting upset at me.

    I feel like I can't make anyone happy. No matter what I do, people will just tolerate me until they find something wrong, then they'll shout the riot act at me. I'm tired of dealing with it.

    Don't tell me to go to counseling. I'm already in counseling. Whole lot of good that's doing me. :-(

    I'm tired of getting hurt. I'm tired of people expecting me to be okay with getting hurt. :-(

    I know I'll be abandoning my family, but on the other hand, I'm tired of having that hanging over my head as something to get me to expect to be okay with how things are.

    And I'm tired of fucking up and people getting upset with me. :-(
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the suicide forums. I think you need to tell your counselor that whatever approach it is they are trying, it ain't effective. I have had counseling sessions where I felt it wasn't helping and by opening up about it we changed how it was done, so perhaps that is an option. I don't use facebook, honestly it is depressing for me seeing my peers doing so well in life and blah blah blah!

    I can relate to that very much, people are always getting the wrong end of the stick and getting frustrated with me, my advice to you is work with them as closely as you can. Let your feelings be known and remember every life is important and it would be great if you could find a way to cope with the ongoing issues and move past them. I wish you all the best.
     
  3. LexiRN

    LexiRN Active Member

    I can completely relate. Although mine isn't anger, it's finances. My husband read me the riot act again last night, and I know I deserved it. I just really feel that the whole family would be better in the long run without me. It's hard when you feel like all you do is fuck up.
     
  4. xokayla

    xokayla New Member

    I would say its ok, but I know all too well that that doesnt mean anything. But I can relate. My mom tells me all the time that Im fucking up. Ive been threatened to get sent away..I dont even do drugs or get in trouble at school! I hope counseling ends up working for you. Youre a special human being just like everyone one, I hope the best for your life.

    xo, Kayla
     
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