I am so tired of it all. I am tired of trying, I am tired of being so sad all the time. What is the point in taking medication that you can't afford if it just doesn't work. The only thing it helps is my sleep. I can't afford it so why take it anymore. I have been in and out of the hospital more then 10 times. And you know what it does NOTHING. My dr put me on a forum 1 on friday, and while we were waiting to go to the ward I told my husband that I was just going to tell the drs what they wanted to hear the next day. I did and they let me go. I still feel just as bad. Now my mental health worker is talking about maybe I might think about going to a resedential treatment program. That we will wait until my dr comes back and then talk about it. I don't know what to do anymore. I have pretty much stopped taking my meds because what is the point. What is the point of it all anymore. I have always tried to tell myself just give it one more day, just hang on one more day and maybe tomorrow will be better. Well I am almost 30 in a couple of weeks and I am tired of waiting to see if tomorrow will be better. I have been on medication pretty much half my life and look what good it has done. Look what good all this in and out of hospital and talking to drs has done. I am just as big of a mess as I have always been. I am so tired of it all.