Tired of it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Patches, Aug 2, 2011.

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  1. Patches

    Patches Active Member

    Hey everyone,

    I'm tired of feeling so low, randomly. One day I will be fine, the next I can't get out of bed. Even on the ok days there's something lacking. I just have no desire to live. I have no purpose, no motivation and my dreams are unattainable - I can't be someone else. I almost feel like I've been guilted into living, my sister told me she'd be destroyed if I killed myself, but I can't go on, I really can't. Ive felt like this for as long as I can remember, I tried to jump out of a window when I was 10. It's almost 9 years later and it just gets worse and worse. I don't want to pretend anymore for other people's sake. No one asks me how I'm doing, well they do, but you're supposed to say that you're ok. They all dump their stuff on me day in day out, I've had conversations where I've said three words in an hour and they've yammered at me non stop. It starts to weigh on a person. The one time I told my best friend how I really, really felt, and why, she offered a cliche and a change of subject. If even she doesn't care then why should anyone else? Why should I? I'd just like to die now.

    Sorry for the cheery first post. Just needed to get it out somewhere and somehow.
  2. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    No need to apologise Patches, thats what the forums are for.
    Speak your mind and let it all out.

    I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I'm glad your sister obviously loves you so much.
    You should talk to your best friend again and tell her how upset you are.
    Make her understand, thats what best friends are for.

    Also give this place a chance. Loads of people here will listen to you and try and help.:hazel:
  3. Patches

    Patches Active Member

    Thanks NiceGuYKC, even though this is a suicide forum I can't help but feel like I'm bothering you all.
    I really don't feel like discussing it with my friend again, it's so draining, hard to get the words out and I don't think I could take another, I dunno how to describe it but it felt like some kind of rejection in a strange way. Plus she's got her own stuff to deal with at the moment.
    Right now I'm trying to calm myself down. I already feel a little better having this mini vent.
  4. D-503

    D-503 Member

    You can vent it all out here Patches. Everyone here will read what you have to say in full and will listen and understand. I only joined here a few days ago but I've found it really helpful, I'm sure you will too.

  5. NiceGuYKC

    NiceGuYKC Well-Known Member

    Glad your feeling a bit better. Hopefully we can make you feel much better soon.:console:
  6. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member


    You are not 'bothering' anyone here!

    Anyone who feels like dying has a pretty profound thing to say - and its a brave thing to actually admit how you feel here.

    We might feel strangers here - but if you came alone you got a friend now.

    Your not the only who feels like dying!

    So - join us as we try to live for a change!

    It can happen - in fact, we all have periods of life in which we seem to be taking one step forward and ten steps backwards.

    This is not so - you have made it this far - likely kept things to yourself also - and had little support. Well, your here now - bad as it might seem its a better place than not being here.

    There are always options. Even at the darkest hour.

    So try to be more open and accept that people here do care.

    We know what you feel like - 100%.

    Thanks for reading and hope you feel a little bit better.

    Take care Patches.
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