Hey everyone, I'm tired of feeling so low, randomly. One day I will be fine, the next I can't get out of bed. Even on the ok days there's something lacking. I just have no desire to live. I have no purpose, no motivation and my dreams are unattainable - I can't be someone else. I almost feel like I've been guilted into living, my sister told me she'd be destroyed if I killed myself, but I can't go on, I really can't. Ive felt like this for as long as I can remember, I tried to jump out of a window when I was 10. It's almost 9 years later and it just gets worse and worse. I don't want to pretend anymore for other people's sake. No one asks me how I'm doing, well they do, but you're supposed to say that you're ok. They all dump their stuff on me day in day out, I've had conversations where I've said three words in an hour and they've yammered at me non stop. It starts to weigh on a person. The one time I told my best friend how I really, really felt, and why, she offered a cliche and a change of subject. If even she doesn't care then why should anyone else? Why should I? I'd just like to die now. Sorry for the cheery first post. Just needed to get it out somewhere and somehow.