Tired of it.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dvnj22, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    I'm tired of it. Let me explain.

    Right now I live with my father and sister, my mother left us when I was 18 - which has crippled my father financially. When I was 16 I had a psychotic break which lasted 3 years. When I was 18 I injured my leg badly. It was my senior year in high school, but becuase of the injury I dropped out, and I got my hs diploma at a local community college, becuase the program was faster. Then when I was 18 my mother left us. My sister was still in college, and I was still in high school. My mother is an idiot and selfish. She says that she will help me with anything I want, but she's too irresponsible, she can't be trusted for anything. I had to quit therapy becuase she couldn't get me to my appointments on time. This month I had a job interview, had to reschedule because she left to go to some concert out of town.

    This brings me too why I need to carpool. My father only has two cars, they are company cars which can only be driven by him or his spouse. So my sis and I depend on them for rides. My father wants my older sister to get a job before me because she's 25 and she needs to do it.... Well my sister doesn't want to get a job and doesn't care at all. I've talked to my father about letting me get a job instead, he won't budge - he's says I'm mentally disabled and can't do it, so he refuses. All my drs say that I'm capable of working and should, because it would improve my mental state. So I tired to get a buss pass, but I need money... Asked my father he says no. What else can I do? I even had 3 good job offers, had to turn them down, my father refused to take me.

    Right now I'm in a bind. My father makes me feel inferior, and my sister frustraters me with her being so lazy. She barely helps at all, she gets temp work but it is very irregular. All she wants to do is hang out with her friends. She makes my dad pay for her, like a 16 year old. If I could id walk, but I live in CA, and the jobs are too spread out for walking distance. As much as I'd hate I'd would take the bus, but I need money first... Can't get it. I'm only 22, i need guidance, and my father doesn't want to give it. Becuase in his mind I'm disabled. This really kills my self esteem. I feel like his pet, not son. I could go behind his back, ask for 20 $ or so - get the bus pass, but that feel wrong. I'm afraid he'd throw me out of the house too. Honestly he's wants me to not progress at all. He wants me to stay with him.... It's really weird all my life he's never wanted anything to do with me. But now he wants to treat me like I'm 10?!
    My sisters and I have talked about it. They think its becuase my mom left, that his afraid of being alone or something. But either way its really strange.

    Right now a lot is out of my control. I do have another sister who is 30, she sympathizes with me, she says if things don't change I can live with her, and she said she's has no problem driving to a job, and she said she can to teach me to drive. But I don't know... I don't want to be a burden, she married and everything and has own life. ( Fyi, She lives like 30 miles away so I would have to live with her to do all of this)

    If things don't progress within a year, I will kill myself. That I can control. And I don't want to end up like some 40 something man-child.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    This sounds so frustrating...can your father tell you what determines being capable of getting and maintaining a job? Does he have guilt about your accident or other issues that have him protecting you? Sometimes understanding what motivates a person to act in a way gives us a better chance of changing their perceptions. Hope this works out and about your sister...forget about her...focus on what you can do...in the meantime, can you take classes online or continue at the community college to advance what you know?
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think you should take your sister up on her offer. It may be what you need to get back on your feet. If you have a job, you can pay your way and help out around the house, then save up your own money to move into your own place or buy yourself a car. It would take time but if your sister is willing and supportive of you, then I think you should go for it.
  4. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    If things don't change at the end of the year, then maybe I will. It would just take a lot of planning she lives in a different county - it's like 3 hrs away. So I would first find job, then out there then move. Etc.
  5. Takotsubo

    Takotsubo Well-Known Member

    sounds like your father is babying you , doesn't want you to work because he thinks you're not up to it ... because of your current state. but i say go ahead a get a job if one is offerd and prove him wrong. your sister seems like a C**t (sorry for the language) that needs to be kicked out of the house if its true she doesn't feel like contributing to the household (paying rent , food, Ect.)

    Edit. and don't wait till the end of the year. change things ASAP, this is your life .
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 7, 2013
  6. dvnj22

    dvnj22 Well-Known Member

    i would take a job but unless it's within walking distance, I cant really do it. The thing is I need some kind of help, and I cant really get it right now. Also with my oldest sister I would move in with her, but her husband is a real jerk and verbally abusive at times to her, if I where living there she's afraid I'll get into a fight - i've done it before. my other sister works, but only temp work, and when she is working it really helps out, but when it ends - it's anywhere between 3-6 months or more before she can get another job. She doesn't want to get a job outside of her field (graphic design). its just a big mess. Every time I try and talk to them rationally it blows up in my face.