I wake up in physical pain and go to bed in physical pain. As if the emotional and mental haven't been enough all my life! I'm so tired from struggling through this life. All I want is to be in my son and grandsons lives. They live several states away and we are supposed to move there this year. But I'm wondering how I am going to be around them when I hurt all the time? This pain is killing me. It's killing every little bit of hope, stealing every little bit of joy. I wish I would just die already. I don't know how much longer I can do this.