Tired of living my waste of a life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Ladygrace, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. Ladygrace

    Ladygrace Active Member

    This year i havent done anything at all and i am stuck at rock bottom. Even though i am highly fucntional, i hate my life and living. Doctors and some family members are wanting me to get a job, but from my past i am to affraid to get one as i tend to have major break downs which leads to a suicide attempt rather fast.

    My therapy ended last month as i was not getting any benefit from it and was becoming really frustrated with it. My medications are not going to be changed at all, my friend told me the ones i am on are somewhat last try medication. I stopped taking my anti anxiety medication as it felt like i was being punched in the chestevery time i took it. I asked for group therapy as it might benefit me but sadly they dont offer it near me and the closest place is hours from me.

    On mondays for me i do attend a depression support group which is amazing as i get to talk to like minded people who are abke to under stand but it is not enough to make me want to live anymore. My benefit will run out next month and there is a chance i will lose it so i will be thrown in the deep end.

    Pretty much I dont have anything left to live for and hoping to die soon to end my suffering as i am tired of everything and have no motivation left for anything at all.

    Oh and where i am living suicide is becoming a major problem in my small town and towns surrounding. Within a month there has been 2-3 suicides in my town of 10,000 people and one was at a park a few hundred meters from where i live and at this rate i will be ading to the stats. Mental health is a joke here and would rather die then keep trying to get help through them from people who dont understand or really care.
  2. the least

    the least New Member

    Please find some hope my lady, you have a beautiful avatar that surely reflects the beauty within.
    suzi likes this.
  3. What can I possibly say to someone who has been dragged into the darkness of this world and left for dead? It hurts me to read your words of not wanting to live your life. Can anyone blame you for not wanting to exist? You've been through hell and you're tired, I get it. I've walked with many of my friends through exactly what you're going through. I've lost some along the way but there are some who are here and stronger because of what they have come through. I don't know you but I know that you have value that none can tarnish. You're a gem buried deep in the dirt. I wish I could allow you to see the beauty that you possess. I believe there is a God who can wipe away every tear you cry, every breath that hurts is not comparable to an eternity with no pain, no sorrow, no death. I would love to chat with you, about religion or whatever else you're interested in. I'm not trying to proselytize you. I care for you and am pained by your desperate words. Praying for you.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You might think they don't care but they just might not know how to help, just like people reading here and don't reply, it is not that they don't care it's just they don't understand/know how to help/afraid of saying the wrong things. I hope you keep reaching out. I am really glad you have the depression support group there for you, thats an accomplishment. Maybe start working by volunteerring somewhere first? Might be easier that way. We do care (hugs)
    ICanSpellThornwell likes this.