Tired of Living with Three Chronic Illnesses

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Crash106, May 16, 2011.

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  1. Crash106

    Crash106 Member

    I have a migraine with aura 2-3 times per week. Not 2-3 in a lifetime, or 2-3 per year, heck, not even 2-3 per month. No. That would be wonderful. I have them 2-3 times per week. The pain isn't the worst part. Nope. I get horrible, suicidal mood swings as my "warning sign" that a migraine is coming. This plus all the weirdest migraine stuff like: seeing spots, lightning bolts, blue flashes, light and especially sounds that hurt, plus nausea, lost words and when it gets really bad, people's faces get distorted.

    But wait, there's more!

    I also have a weird form of muscular dystrophy that sometimes leaves me paralyzed or makes me struggle to breath. Yes, this is SOMEhow related to the migraines.

    But wait, there's more!

    I'm also allergic to most grains (wheat, barley and rye). So I have to watch almost every single thing that goes in my mouth. Read the labels. Don't ever just eat anything. Hungry? Too bad! Oh, but don't ever get too hungry because THAT will trigger a migraine!

    I must be making this up, right? No. I HAVE had therapy (almost worthless). I AM taking 5 different anti-migraine drugs (just to get to this level). I do take a very low dose of Pamelor (to tamp down the migraine mood swings) and it helps.

    I'm just so tired of the struggle. I really am.

    • I can't keep up at work.
    • I just quite graduate school (they lied about the program).
    • Had a great year at work last year. This year, nothing but trouble.

    About half the time now, I have a passive death wish. On bad days, I really just want to jump off a cliff or a nice tall waterfall.

    I don't think there is any help for me. Therapists are useless stooges. Drugs and more drugs aren't enough. I feel very lonely and tired and cranky.

    We all die some time, don't we? I hope that, at least, will be a blessing.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi sorry you are suffering so greatly Depends on therapist i say i went through some bad ones before i got a great one. I hope you doctors do find a way to help you. There are many meds you can take daily that prevent migraines from coming hugs to you
  3. icequeen

    icequeen Well-Known Member

    agree with total eclipse. sorry you struggling with so much and indeed finding the right therapist can be a godsend so dont give up and keeping going until you find a therapist you can work with.

    Migraine causing your mood swings, and also the MD can cause mood swings..thats a double whammy which makes it even harder to deal with everything else. how about taking some relaxation classes just to help with your anxiety...even something simple like a massage just to give yourself a break.

    is it a gluten allergy you have as if its "just" gluten there are now so many products available gluten free that can make life easier, or is all grains in general (forgive my ignorance).

    give meds a chance to help and it may take a while to get the dose right, please stick with it, and keep reaching out here for support :hug:
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    sorry that you are going through this

    I think that you may be able to find a way to get better

    I recommend that you take a look at this book

    "Curing Headaches Naturally with Chinese Medicine"

    (follow the books link)

    at lot of the book is available on-line


    the dietary recommendations in particular might be helpful. so just as the grains are a problem, there may be other foods that are making your headaches worse

    many of the theoretical elements of the book won't make much sense. you don't really need the theory though
  5. Arthur523

    Arthur523 Well-Known Member

    I'm right there with you man, I have a lot of exhausting and crappy issues myself. I've been depressed for so long that it literally hurts the muscles in my face to smile, I have an anxiety disorder which always keeps my heart beat up and also gives me a slight headache all day, and on top of that I have a learning disability that makes my ability to process information much harder for me. Not only can I barely function doing normal everyday things, but my meds aren't doing much for me (and I'm at almost max dosage of one of my anti-depressants), and I feel my life just slowly being wasted away like an ice cream cone outside in the middle of a hot summer day.

    IDK man, just realize that there are other people out there struggling too, and you just gotta hold on I guess as much as you can. Hang in there...
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I also have migrains weekly.. I'm takeing imitrexfor them.. I was takeing lortab for the pain but after ten years they weren't doing anything for them..I have found that if you lye in a dark quiet room with an ice bag on your head helps some..Mine usually last like three days..After a while I have learned to live with them..
  7. prelon

    prelon Member

    I have migraine aura too. Depression and anxiety have been linked with the condition so a lot of people are on meds for that. I have some weird physical condition but haven't been back to the doc about it. My joints are messed up. My eyes are going really blurry and I need glasses now but haven't been to eye doctor, haven't got the energy to go docs.

    Anyway I know how you feel.
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