Tired of living...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by NoConnection, Sep 14, 2011.

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  1. NoConnection

    NoConnection New Member

    Hi, folks! guess, what! I wanna die! Never expected me to say something like that huh?
    I hate myself, the world, everyone and everything else (except my doggi)
    I have no talents, no education, no life, no friends (except my doggi). I'm ugly, im tiny, looks like a child, gets no respect, Nothing!!
    I can't work and earn money because my brain is malfunctioning, making it impossible or atleast veeeeery very very hard.
    I just sit in my room, hating myself, the world, everyone and everything else. Nothing is fun. Nothing is worth the effort. Effort?
    what a waste!!
    I read on interent about Talking to your friends, they will help you and all... Why do they awlays think you have Fiends!?!?
    I dont have anyone i wanna call friend. The friends i had and makes only used me for their own benefits, to get free stuff and more.
    when they find out im a boring emo they leave.
    Everyone ditched me. Noone want to be freind with me. they just hold their mask and then when they have what they want, ByeBye!!
    Humans are evil, they destory and pollute the earth. Humans hurt eachother. Humans hurt animals. Humans just take and never give back.
    Humans are going to destory and kill everything in this world. I have this special dream, with me, saving the earth by <mod edit: *sparkle: illegal> , slowly but safe, the earth goes back to normal and becomes a paradise for all other living things.
    Humans are the source of evil humans must be destory. Why was i born as human!! i'd rather be born as a wolf and be murdered by humans.
    People say there is always light at the end of the tunnle. how can they say that? Beacuse they are normal? Because their life is alredy
    perfect? Beacuse they have friends and families that supports them and understand them? I see no light. I see only darkness. I will
    never become normal. I will never have real friends. Noone will ever understand me. I will never be able to do what i want. as long as
    im alive i will suffer. therefore wanna die. im tired of having these feelings that will never go away i just want them to end and the
    only solution seems to be to
    die. Why is dying so awful? we are all going to die anyway and be forgotten. I want to be the one to take control of my own ending.
    the world doesnt ends because you die.
    people go out, birds keeps singing, people go to work, the sun keeps shining. not a Damn thing happens when you die noone will miss you.
    Well maybe a week or two, but then everything goes back to normal. Grandma just died, and nothing really happened. noone cried, noone said
    anything special. they just wanned to get everything done and go back to their own life. When i die and if i meet god, i wanna ask god
    why god made me so total useless. was i a misstake? Don't you love me god? I'd like to know. Cause as we all learn, everything happens at gods will.
    Actually i dont beleive in god. But if there is
    a god, then god is a real bad guy that lets other suffer, humans destory everyhing and hurt others. maybe we are just gods puppets.
    We are just sims. maybe god is laughing at us now HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
    I completly accept and surrender. Im useless. Just waiting for the right moment. One human less
    doesnt matter at all. Its only good. one human less is a step closer for the earth to be saved. Yeah i care much about earth and animals
    (except for frogs and insects Blaaarg)
    I hate when they cut down forest and beat puppies.
    Have i made myself clear now? Im not happy ):
    This is my thoughts so far.. hope anyone wants to read it =P
    This place is prolly wrong place to post this... but whatever
    Oh, each post i make must be approved by a moderator first!! Thank you, moderator, now i really feel like a child that must first ask for
    permisson to play outside.
    And yes, I'm Not english!


    So... how are YOU feeling today??
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 14, 2011
  2. bambam

    bambam Member

    Not worth a fuck. See my wife of almost 14 years died 9-3-11. I like you hate everyone right now and have no family or friends. Life sucks then you die. Within the last 16 months I had a heart attack and a ruptured appendix and now I've lost my everything. I feel worthless just like you and I've read on here about so many others in pain also. If you find the answer to better mental health let me know and if I find it I'll tell you about it.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF hun hope that rant help you release some of the sadness inside even if it was just for a little while. everyone has to be moderated at first not just you for saftey reasons I am glad you have your dog for companionship I know an animal gives love unconditionally I too once thought as you did about people but not all are bad hun there are many who care and try to help suffering of others Lot of kind people here hugs
     
  4. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I know how you feel- I'm tired of living too.
    Stick a fork in me- I'm done.
     
  5. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    i hate human. vermin. i choose to save an animal over a human any day :)
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I'm an animal lover alsol..I found a wouded hawk in my backyard a couple of weeks ago.. I called animal rescue... They took the hawk to the bird lady.. She takes in all kinds of birds and nurses them back to health..
     
  7. foundit

    foundit Member

    Hi Noconnection

    can i ask what you mean by your brain malfunctioning?

    Your post makes it clear you are an intelligent person, so I assume you mean something different from generally being able to figure stuff out

    So maybe its something like

    distractions or too many thoughts at once?
    Or paranoid thoughts?
    Or just plain old negative throughts or negative feelings? (Like sometimes It can be really difficult to just feel normally happy - even if there is no real reason to be unhappy?

    Anyway it might be one of the above or none of the above, I was just curious what you meant by that?
    u can also pm me if u prefer
     
  8. NoConnection

    NoConnection New Member

    Hi folks! uhh malfunctioning must have been a weird choise of word. What i mean with that is I'm afraid of people. I'm Really afraid. I avoid them humans at all cost. And if youre afraid of people you cant have work. No matter how silly it looks, if i get the oppertunity I take my doggi run and hide if i see one, like behind a tree or rock. yeah its that serious. to go out is everyday a struggle. sometimes people have stoped and accusing me for unfair stuff. Before they give me a change to explaine, they leave. That leaves me very mad and angry, and my day is completely destroyed once again. When we are getting visitors i gets crazy and wants to hide in my bed. doesnt matter if its family members or stranger, I'm afraid of them all. Just leave me alone please T-T
    People have hurt me and betrayed me. i see nothing good in humans. i took some courage and tried to make some friend on internet, but they only used me.
    so I trust nobody, sorry );
    I'm not seeing a doctor and dont want to. I'm afraid of people he would only see me as a stupid jerk. and they only care about money anyway. If you dont have money, they dont help you. If you have money, the pretend to listen and nothing else happens. I dont want to take any medicine that affects the whole body, i find it scary.
    And to be even more honest, i dont think i want any help. I'm just trying to accept i'm useless and everyhing wont get better. It feels much easier to surrender. To go sleep. Forget everything...
    just fly away somewhere with my doggi, a place just for us, our paradise with no other humans. Sorry i write long again i can never keep it short. i guess i have alot inside my head that wants to get out.
    Nice more animal lovers! to bad theres no something called "animal rescue" in the country i live in, at least ive never heard of anything.
    And yes, I would rather save the Animal and let the human fall to her death :)
     
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