tired of my dissociating

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jimk, Nov 11, 2008.

  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    last couple of weeks have been a real battle. have checked out 6 or 7 times and not a clue what went on while in neverneverland. hardest when first start coming back to what passes for my reality. total disorientation and lost. was up at 4am 2nd time this morning and chatted with a few friends then. did alright, was lucid and feeling ok. went back to bed and when waking up again couldn't find my butt with both hands on it.

    could not remember how to do the simpliest things that are normal and can do on automatic usually. thereapist says reason that the dissoc. episodes are coming on more frequently is taht my different beings are getting closer to each other now. am doing a new kind of dissocation which is not like usual amnesia type where have no memory of it after it is over. now those memories of my small child where faced some real nasty stuff is remembered later.

    this is getting real scarey and terrifying sometimes. want my different alters to integrate someday but this is really very hard to deal with. especially when it is happening almost everyday. where the hell do i hide anymore????

    I am getting worn out!!!! Jim
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    Sounds intense.
    I dissociate but it has never been that intense. My therapist said she did as well and didn't stop fully until her 30's.
    Maybe it will stop suddenly for you, it might take a while. Try to be ok with however much time this takes and although this seems to be coming together and seems like it might be coming on rather quickly try to take time out and sort things through as much as you can.
    Not sure about the multiple personalitys though, have not had to deal with that. I'm glad your therapist is helping you with that! :hug: