I have been keeping away for the past few weeks because I was trying to convince myself that life was great and I don't want to die. I have kept busy with my children and their activities and my responsibilities, but the weight of pretending is crushing me. No matter how hard I try to act like I have a normal life, my insides are screaming to let it end. I don't forsee making it through the summer without killing myself. It is harder to fake happiness every day.