tired of putting one foot in front of the other

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gwalchmei, Mar 23, 2012.

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  1. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    I have no wife. I have no fiancee.

    No prospects of it. Don't care about what I accomplish. My heart is sick. I want to self-terminate.

    I miss my ex wife. I keep having dreams where we are still married, or remarry. Then I wake up to my reality.

    I prefer the sweet release of death, at this point.:crushed:
  2. bailiwick

    bailiwick New Member

    My husband left suddenly in October. It didn't hit me right away because he was a real PITA and I was relieved at first. But in the last two months, I have lost all interest in everything. I feel like a total loser. I have nothing to say to anyone in person. I am hiding.
  3. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Sounds like you want to recapture the past.

    If I can offer some advice (good or bad, you decide): While it is perfectly fine to relive the high moments of the past, it is important not to let them catch you up and get stuck in the past. Everything has happened for a reason, the good and the bad. Use your experiences to shape your life from here on out.
  4. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    I can relate. Was engaged last year. My fiance left me while I was in hospital with depression. I was supposed to be celebrating my wedding day in three weeks time. Some days are harder than others, but hang in there because some are easier than others!!!!!!!!!
  5. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Think of it as a blessing, AussieGal and think yourself fortunate that you were able to find out what kind of a bloke he was to do something like leaving his girl while she is in the hospital, rather than find out after marriage!

    Complete dogs, people who do things like that...
  6. toshi

    toshi Well-Known Member

    it's so clear that your ability and willingness to love and be loved is so strong. in many respects, i envy you just being able to feel that way. If you go someone will miss out on having your heart in their world, someone who is looking - who needs the anchor that your compassion can give. please try to hang on.
  7. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    my wife slapped me on the cheek last night in front of other people. I feel so embarrased but it "woke" me up because it shocked me like nothing else. I don't know how to explain it but after this incident, I feel like I am in a different world.
  8. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    My ex ran away from my son and I for a year, found a boyfriend while she was away, then came back home and divorced me with the intention of having me removed from my son's life and have the boyfriend (who fooled around on her the day she left to come back home) take over as "daddy" to my son.
    I tried to move on with my life. Found another woman, and got engaged. The moment she found out I was engaged, my ex started severely trying to interfere in my relationship, and ended up destroying it.
    She doesn't want me, but she doesn't want anyone else to have me, either.
    She spent the past year subtly trying to pull me back into her world. She got me and my daughter attached to her daughter (she had a daughter by a different man, who is in no way supporting the child and isn't even there for her). Then she decided to cut me and my daughter off, because she has found some new "rich" prospect.
    My (now ex) fiancee has played her own head games as well. Including with when I see my daughter.
    I have come to the conclusion that evidently I am so repellant to women that the only way that I can ever be with one is when they want or need something from me.
    I want to go home. This loneliness is slowly killing me. I want to go Home and be with my God.
  9. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    What is so wrong with me that this keeps happening?
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