tired of the harassment

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cloudy, Sep 15, 2009.

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  1. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    pretty much every semester that i have attended classes i have had harassment. i was going home yesterday on the bus and while waiting at the bus stop, i had one car slow down and someone yelled a sentence. a lot of the folks harassing me are black females.

    the rest are usually a mix and end up calling me a ***** etc. i think i talked about a lady who picked a fight with me a couple of weeks ago. i am about to leave my boyfriend over the fact that he is a sociopath and hit me( slapped,same thing) back in august.

    i have a theory that a lot of the harassment like i have said in the past has to do with my boyfriend,me being with him and the fact that he lives in a bad neighborhood etc... i feel like the harassers are trying to play god.

    there is a person who is interested in me and i won't talk to him much and will probably refuse to go out with him because of the bullshit of others worrying about my business.

    i am considering suicide within the next few months. i feel like i won't be able to obtain a job in this town without coworkers harassing me or someone on the outside starting things. just today i took my grandmother to have her ear checked out and the two young ladies at the receptionist desk started talking about me. i just won't be able to have a normal life anymore.

    its not always my illness i.e. paranoia...i used to want to be a mom and now that dream is gone because of this illness. some so called relatives i don't even know have a lot to do with this. i believe in god and i hope that i don't go to hell for ending my life, which i feel has no peace and never will have a fucking shred of happiness because of other people. i am afraid of being physically harmed. there.

    note the keywords: my illness and other people. tell me what you think.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 15, 2009
  2. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    I think the people around you are def cruel. Idk why they are picking on you, I dont know what you look like, how you act, etc. Really, it's all just affecting your self-esteem, which when it gets low, you start thinking of suicide like you are now, becomming anti-social, etc, and it'll just keep getting worse. You have to push through that tho, dont care so much what they say, they're a***** anyways. For me, ive been through so much harrassment from when i was young it doesnt affect me anymore, i could care less. If you get a higher self-esteem, you'll be more confident, and the comments wont bug you and you'll be prob harrassed less. If they see that you're affected by their harrassment, they'll just keep doing it.
  3. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    very true about the affected part. what would be a warning sign to you in a harassment situation in general that would warn of physical threat other than the obvious?
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I don't know why it seems everyone is picking on you. It isn't easy to ignore name calling and other types of harrassment. I am wondering how you are reacting? Is it people you know or see often? Are they total strangers? Does it seem random? trying to make some sense out of it all.
  5. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i dont know these people. they attend my college or are sometimes people off the street. it is random to me it seems. i am not a mind reader of sorts and i dont know why but i wish it would stop soon.
  6. lost43215

    lost43215 Well-Known Member

    Well, def the obvious, but there are def subtle signs too. If your talking to them, could be that you just walk away silently, if your head is down, if your slouching when your walking (walking straight with shoulders straight is a sign of confidence). Looking like you care about what they say. Trying to listen in on what they are saying (means that your interested/care about it). Im not sure of the whole list. I think there's prob books about confidence and the subtle things we do that show it. That's just some off the top of my head.
  7. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    i have picked a date to end it: november 19,2009

    i don't have the mental capacity to deal with being yelled at,called a homosexual,losing a job over harassment, not being able to have kids or a job because of other people, being harassed over my looks, so i am leaving. fuck the world.fuck them.
  8. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    let me rephrase not being able to have a job because of other people and not being able to have kids due to mental illness.
  9. Vangelis

    Vangelis Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same situation myself, but to those cruel people, or strangers who I have no connection with, they yell something at me or try to harass me, I give them the bird and tell them to F themselves. My job well, that's a rough spot, but I try to find something that I can do by myself and without people around. I been harassed all my life and I lately found a way around it or by pessimistic about it. Doesn't mean I'm a complete asshole, but I am nice to those who are nice to me, which only accounts to one person. I hate losing to society, I rather die on my own terms rather than theirs.
  10. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    yep. i have been trying to get a doctor to listen that i need to be on an older medication because all the stuff that they can put me on i have been put on. i just worry about being physically harmed by assholes. other than that the petty high school behavior i can ignore for the most part.
  11. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member


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