Tired of the pain and suffering.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dreggor gade, Jul 28, 2009.

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  1. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

    The subject says it all. I really can't think of a good reason or rationale for continuing. Can anyone come up with ten solid reasons to continue? And I mean no bullshit reasons here. No rubbish.
  2. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

    Eh. I'm impatient. I hate these fucking smilies on here. The waving "LOL!" sign, the Iheartyou sign, the shithappens sign, and the other crap. Fuck it.

    Shit like that only makes the cerebral life worse. I'm in enough horrible pain, I don't need to be bothered with intellectual pain as well. I'm surrounded by fucking morons all the time, people who can't even begin to hold a decent conversation about anything interesting, and now I've got these fucking POS "Smiles" annoying the hell out of me. It's enough to drive one to grab all the pills and swallow them.
  3. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    That would be really hard without knowing you. Why not tell us a bit about yourself?
  4. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

    I can't sum up my life in a quick paragraph. I can say that I live in chronic pain, multiple types of diagnosed pain that will never end until I am dead. I'm educated but miserable. I had many things and many people in my life, but over time the burden of pain helped make it easy to decide to let them go on with their own lives. They don't need a wretch like me. Seriously. I'm admittedly a drag, and there's nothing can be done about it.

    So, I'm in pain, I tried living a normal life. I tried living a "coping" life. I tried living an adjusted life. It's all shit.

    I need decent reasons not to pull my plug. I am by physical nature just intensely miserable. I don't see a reason for this life anymore.
  5. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    First, it sucks that you are in chronic pain. I can't begin to imagine what that must be like. So why do you feel like a drag? I am still trying to think of reasons to live... I am sure you don't want to hear the usual shit people say. Like things get better, life is beautiful, etc... So why do you want to carry on? It is a good question, harder for other people to answer. Because what you value may not be the same as someone else. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? Husband/wife?
  6. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

  7. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

    I had pretty much everything. But the worse my physical life got, and is still getting, the more I decided to let the people I love go. They have such wonderful adventures to experience. Like I said, I'm a wretch, and I can't share those experiences. So I left my partner, divested myself of my friends, etc.

    In other words, I feel like a drag because I am a drag. In all aspects. I can't do what everyone else can anymore due to my physical conditions. And so, I really can't see a reason for continuing with the shit pile of a life.
  8. dreggor gade

    dreggor gade Member

    I was reading the other thread you were posting in, and you have several things you can at least enjoy to some degree. I envy you those things. I used to have some of those things. Now, I don't. My life is nothing but pain: sometimes marginally mild, generally bad, often extremely bad. It allows for no pleasure. Ever.
  9. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    1. statistically - your life will have at least one major good thing in it, and it probably hasn't happened yet so there's reason to wait around.

    2. you will be missed, no matter how insignificant the people who care about you are (possibly on here, or in real life), they are still there, and they will miss you. and although feeling guilty may not be a reason to stay alive - letting those people who care for you, know that you care for them to - that is a perfectly good reason.

    3. failure. yes - something that can make you want to end your life is also something that should stop you. approximately 1/5 of all (genuine) suicide attempts actually succeed - that gives you a 4/5 chance of failing. think about what could happen to you, what irreparable damage you could do to your body, making your life that much worse and possibly putting yourself in a position where you could no longer end your life even if you wanted to.

    4. life is to be lived - there is a lot of it left for you, and if you made a few changes, maybe you could help yourself get better and be happier.

    don't give up.

    i know that's only 4 - but you didn't want rubbish.
  10. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    So sorry to hear about your pain... if you want to talk to someone else who might know a little better what you're going thru more than most. I became disabled just over 3 years ago with severe nerve damage in both legs, hips to ankles, and have not had 1 minute without pain in the entire time... on the docs 1-10 pain scale, I have not been below a 7 the entire time... most days are 8-10... some days I think it's like 15. Some days I can't get out of bed, some days I can't stop crying. I can't work, can't drive anymore... at first I almost never left the house... now I am pushing myself to get out of the house when I can... I am just learning to live with the pain forever... because the docs can't do anything for me, and nothing works to relieve the pain... they tell me "pain meds are made for bone or muscle pain, nothing really helps nerve pain..." so I just have to suffer... like it sounds like you are suffering.

    I actually attempted in June... and to be honest, I am really glad I failed... I am still in pain, miserable most days, lonely as hell (because people I thought were my friends vanished when I became disabled) and I could go on and on... but at the moment, I am glad I am alive. I have met some awesome, amazing new friends here on SF, and recently starting meeting new friends here in town as well... so I am finding strength I didn't know I had anymore... I thought I was tapped out... but I found a reserve!

    Anyway... if you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me... also my MSN and yahoo messenger is in my contact info as well. I welcome new friendships!! I certainly don't have all the answers... but I do live with extreme pain, so I can relate in a way! I hope you're getting through today okay!!! Contact me anytime! :hug:
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    One there are always new procedures new meds coming out to stop the chronic pain. Do you go to pain clinic a pain specialist to see what they could do. Nerve block is one method to stop pain talk to a specialist about new methods to control pain Don't give up just yet new meds and treatments coming out all time.
  12. Ben121

    Ben121 Active Member

    I hear you there.

    ppl do seem to be insensitive to most things. Apart if its bothering them. It can drag you down when the world seems such a cold place.

    I don't have good health. My body constantly lets me down. I struggle to keep up with other ppl even to go out and have a drink.
    I don't work. So have to much time on my hands. The last person I spook to was a few days ago at the supermarket why i was getting my weekly shopping. Ye the check out girl who was politely doing her job.

    All in all life sucks for me at the minute. Not to say that I have also fall out with me dad. The man has no clue how lucky he is. Good health. ppl to live with. Me I well never have ether of them things. But you know normally I seem hepper then he dose. Not cos I live with my head in the clouds but cos I make the best out of every given moment. I unlike him appreciate company. I am also one of them ppl you speak of that have nothing interesting to talk about. Only cos I never do anything that interesting.

    I could probably come up with a million reasons if I tried for you to live. but if your anything like me when am in a mood none of them would be anywhere close to being a good reason.

    You have to look inside of yourself and find what would make you happy in life. For me its simple things like a need to feel I am wonted and appreciated in life. And then to be able to have good friendly ppl around to have fun with. Simple but yet all so very difficult to get for some of us.

    But ever time I try for another day I give myself a chance to get them things I so dearly wont/need. The way I look at it is in the eyes of evolution we don't even live for a blink of an eye. The days are long yes but the years are not. It only seems like yesterday since I left school. So it wont hurt any moor then it has done to see it out to the biter end like the stubborn F**k I am.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2009
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    my daughter
    my son
    my husband
    my twin
    my mother
    my brothers
    my fear of causing others pain
    my hope of new treatments and therapys to help
    my fear of what will happen if attempts fail
    my want to live despite my will to die
    I know I don't make sense but i never have
  14. BriGuy

    BriGuy Antiquities Friend

    I know you said you hate the smilies... and I included ONE in my post... the hug... cuz it's as close to a real hug as I can give... because hugs really do help me to feel just a LITTLE bit better emotionally... so I had to give one to you too!!
  15. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    I agree with everyone, espeically Briguy.

    You ever need to talk, I'm here for you.

    And I also have a MSN too..

    Be safe,
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