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tired of wondering if im wrong

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by zoebaby, Jul 11, 2008.

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  1. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    wow, im going to try and tell my thoughts and worries. im always wondering if im too hard on the people around me, if i should be more forgiving, sometimes i feel like i hold grudges for too long, but i have been hurt so bad, i dont want to be hurt again.
    my father disowned me 13 years ago because i had a mixed race child. actually he wasnt much of a dad before i had my son. i called him 3 years ago thinking we could patch things up. there is a family reunion tommorow and he has my grandmother, his mother, call me and invite me and he will be mad if i dont go. he doesnt call me for anything, he always has his mother call me. he will talk to his other daughters by his wife but he will never call me, why would i want to go if he treats me so different from his daughters by his wife? its been like this since i first met him when i was ten. he doesnt call me on my birthday, christmas, nothing. and im supposed to go and act like ev erything is all right?? like its okay for him to take his other grandsons fishing and boating and my son doesnt know him at all, has never been invited to do anything with them. there is also years of hurt, having to take care of myself and my son, having noone to help. i dont know of im just being pigheaded, my grandmother seems to think so, i dont know.
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I think you're entitled to feel the way you are. Do you think it would help you decide whether to go or not if he actually spoke to you? If he wants you there, maybe tell your grandmother you'd like to hear it from him.

    Would also like to say I missed a family reunion a while ago due to a relative turning up who I didn't particularly get on with (or more, he didn't get on with me...). I missed meeting a relative who came all the way from Australia because of this person and I regretted it - do you think you'd regret not going if you decide not to go?

    If you decide not to go to this reuinion, any chance you could meet up with relatives another time away from your father?

    Good luck making the decision. :hug:
  3. zoebaby

    zoebaby Well-Known Member

    well i didnt go. i had to work till 1 pm anyway. yes, it would have made a big difference if he would have called and asked me. i would be thrilled to have him call me. i dont know how he can just not call and wonder how i am doing, how do you do that, i look at my son and i cant imagine not being in contact with him, seeing if he is okay. i look at people with parents and i get so jealous and i wonder what is wrong with me, i must be really horrible, or terribly unfortunate. i hate my family and my lot in life. why have children if you just ignore them.
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