Relatively speaking my life isn't so bad. I have a wife who loves me. My parents and brothers are alive and well and love me too. I have a smattering of friends around the country that I get together with in varying frequency. I've got a decent job that I'm good at and no significant cash problems. So why am I here? Because none of this brings any joy to my life. I care about all of these people and have spent years (if not decades) trying to make my love for them, and theirs for me, enough to sustain myself. The effort is exhausting. The sad fact is that I go through the motions of being a good husband, son, brother, friend, or employee but at every turn I still feel alone. I want to feel connected in a way that is meaningful and life affirming, but wanting doesn't make it so. Perhaps this resonates with some people and perhaps not. Ultimately I guess it doesn't make a difference. I'm just tired; tired of everyone and everything. I am alone on my journey as I always have been. It may just be time for me to admit that it is less a journey and more aimless wandering that needs to come to an end.