i'm so sad all the time. it's getting harder and harder to take. of course i have like a hundred things going on in my life, and none of it which is easy to face. i'm just so so sad. i'm tired of feeling heavy. i can't even enjoy my job right now (which i love) i know it's bad. i can't get into and i want to call in all the time. if a guy hadn't of walked out two weeks ago and another guy given his notice i would call in most days. it's so hard for me to get motivated to get my housework done and it so desperately needs it. i am having dreams and nitemares about three to four times a nite so sleep is broken, but yet i feel like i need it all the time. oh i eat but maybe sometimes too much. i need to be helping my kid get his homework done and have to get him back into the doctor and i can't find the strength to do either one. i feel like i have become a pathetic excuse for a human being. everything is rolling downhill and it's becoming harder and harder to hold on. my doc last week invited me to go to the hospital but that idea is no good. they are usually trying to get me out the door before i even walk through. being as i was just at the doc on wed they have done all the medication adjustment they are going to and she knows precisely how i'm feeling. i am just not so sure just what to do anymore. i am tired, sad and alone. i wish all this would just go away and i can't make it go away. how am i going to make it? honestly, i don't want to hear one day at a time either. i'm beaten and torn and just want to give up on life.