For the past year, not a day goes by without me thinking of ending my own life. Usually at work when I get stressed or angry for no reason (other than just thinking about where my life is at the moment), I see myself taking a gun to my head. When I think of all the troubles, failures, and how it's all kind of hopeless, I imagine putting a bag over my head & tapeing it shut. I think I'd prefer the latter more, even though I've thought of others. It seems easier to prepare for, before & after. I've read the things that someone who's contemplating this should read, like "Death is a permanent solution..." etc. I understand all of that, or at the very least, for the most part I can agree with, but it just doesn't seem to apply to my situation. I have a job that does not pay well; I'm close to losing my home to foreclosure; Can't afford any medical/psychological help, even with health insurance; No personal life to speak of; And I'm not counting on my family for support that'd be helpful (not that they won't help in some way). I suppose my story would seem trivial, if not long-winded, so maybe I shouldn't start rambling about it. The immediate & long term future just seems so bleak, without any possibility of significant improvement. I know the phrase tossed around at this point is "hang in there, it'll get better". Things probably will get better, but I don't know if it's enough. A small improvement is a small victory, but still a drop in the bucket. I'm tired, and I'm running on empty will power to try to survive what life dished out. I understand the concept of a person taking charge of their destiny, but I don't have that characteristic in me, and I probably never will. I just want to put down the burden I'ven been carrying around in the wrong way. I just want to end the journey with so many step that I took was wrong & irrevocable.