im tired of my life, of feeling like a disappointment.. I am a 23 year old male that comes from a very good family. Throughout my life I have always kept people at an arms length, never letting them get to close that they could potentially hurt me. I played a sport in college not because I wanted to, but rather because I was expected to. I have always tried to make everyone in my life happy, never truly deciding anything for my own pleasure/goals. I have lied to everyone around me just so that I do not hurt them, often telling them what I know they want to hear. My parents are wonderful and have always given me everything I have wanted. I managed to screw up graduating college two classes short due to a problem with depression literally weeks before finals of my senior year. I have felt ever since then that my parents resented me for having problems and not finishing. I have always been asked what I want to do in the world..honestly, there is nothing that I want to do. I have no goals, I have no real reason to live. Nothing excites me, everyday I wake up wishing I was gone and did not have to deal with the disappointment my life has become. I feel like I am wasting my parents money/time, and have not turned out how I should be. I am apathetic towards life, and feel like killing myself is the only way to end the pain. I have even been contemplating joining the military..not because I care about the fighting, but because of the chance that I can be killed. To be honest I am just trying to find the right time for me to end things. I hate my life and just want everything to be over.