I am so tired of it all. I am tired of always fighting just to make it one more day. I am tired of trying not to think about. I am tired of nightmares, I am tired of flashbacks and body memories. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know how to deal with it. I am tired of feeling like a failure and a fake walking around trying to pretend like everything is okay. ITS NOT OKAY, it has never been okay. I am tired of dissocating every single day. I am tired of logicaly knowing nothing is going to happen to me at night but not being able to believe it. I am tired of feeling like nothing I do or can do will ever make it all better. I am tired of feeling like a faliure as a wife and a mother. I am physcially and emotionaly done. I am just plan tired.