tired

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by black_rose_99, Dec 28, 2010.

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  1. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone

    I recently posted my welcome message, so some of you may be aware of my situation. I had a falling out with two of my closest friends over Christmas. They've now gone out to talk about me and how horrible I am. I'm tired of apologising for having a mental illness. I've apologised to them (albeit not in person since they won't speak to me - but via texts and email), but I'm not the only one that did something wrong, and I'm tired of always apologising for being sick. I know I let them down, I've apologised, but what's the point? And are they true friends if they can't accept me - the whole of me - including my mental health (or lackthereof!).

    I don't know what the point is to anything anymore. I don't understand why I keep trying.
     
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi black rose and welcome to SF. They don't sound like true friends anyhow. Don't beat yourself up about it. Some people just don't understand mental illness or aren't tolerant of people who suffer from it. Try making some new friends. :hug:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    lots of people here understand will be friends the people hurting you do not deserve your friendship they are not worthy of your presence Make new friends okay better ones ones you deserve
     
  4. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Isn't a crazy world, for some unknown reason, we actually expect our fellow humans to think the same as we do, the simple truth is.......they don't.
    What causes one person to suffer, brings enjoyment to another.
    We can only control our emotions, it is impossible to control someone elses and i for one, would never choose to do so.
    Beauty comes from within, if you allow that to shine out, then i promise you, the people who you most want in your life, will bask under its glow.
    You have done all you can with your friends, give them space to reflect, let them see you as patient, kind and full of love. If they choose to ignore you, then let them, but hold your own heart in the knowledge that you have done all you can.
    As far as trying goes, well, we all have to learn, every single day. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets. The beauty of it though is, there is always a chance to put it right, to take that chance to feel better about oneself, by giving as much as we can.
    I have turned more new pages than i care to remember in my desire for contentment, the old chapters keep jostling to be first again, but i wont let them.
    Regards Pete x
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2010
  5. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Hi Dave, thanks for your reply. I think making new friends is a great idea - but easier said that done :) I've been trying for awhile, London is isolating, but I am trying.

    Hi Violet, I'm glad that people here understand. I'm so glad I found this place full of people who understand what it's like.

    Hi Pete... Thank you for your lovely words. I can only trust that I have done enough and the rest is their issue. I am trying to have faith - the initial friend concerned has now relayed the story over and over to people who previously had no knowledge of it - but who I also live with - so I am trying to keep faith that they will make up their own minds and not choose to be sucked in. So terribly hard though. Hang in there Pete xxx
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 30, 2010
  6. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Your friends may come through for you yet. :)

    But if they don't it is not your fault.:hamtaro:
     
  7. black_rose_99

    black_rose_99 Well-Known Member

    Thanks :) I appreciate your optimism and am borrowing some for myself :)
     
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